As soon as
I sense the slightest tinge
Of anger
I
Run from myself
Nononono
You know what happens when you get mad
Just play
And so I play and play
Sometimes it helps
It distracts
But when there's a black hole in you
Does anything truly fix it?
Does the anger ever go away?
I've been angry my whole life
I pick fights because I need to
I'm out of ideas
Out of things to keep cool
Done with these people
Done with all of this
I'm so angry
All the time
What's wrong with me?
I saw a photo of our band from last year
our Wind Ensemble
the intern we all fell in love with
the conductor we adore
everyone was together
and I just...
gah.
I wanted to yell STAY
Sack race
thirteenth birthday party
start of seventh grade.
My two BFFs since kindergarten,
the one that slipped in from fourth grade,
the two I met in fifth -
then of course my party girlfriends
How lucky am I?
To feel loved?
In a household and a family and a school that makes me feel not worth it
not good enough
and I found someone outside of it all who loves me?
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