Autumn's Evergreen

Autumn is when you left

and the feelings inside of me were storm clouds,

each drop of rain an emotion

Sadness

Relief

Fear

Autumn is my release

Feet pounding on leaf scattered trails

Crisp air, breathe it in through the nose, 

out through the mouth.

Confusion, 

explanations,

realizations

Each word echoing in my head like a blackbird's caw in a lonely cornfield, the scarecrows its only witnesses.

Past and future blend into one, fear a common ground.

My mind is a barren forest, and the birds are flying ever further out of reach, their songs now silent.

My questions are in abundance, but the answers are a feeble harvest this season.

Forgive

Forget?

I try to run, like the geese flying south,

but I cannot escape my sorrow.

The fallen leaves are my memories as I push my way through them, landing in front of me only to be blown away once again.

They are the grains of sand in an hourglass, falling fast, and I feel I am running out of time as shadows grow, reaching for me, and fleeing is a thought of the past.

My reflection stares up at me from dark waters, surrounded by a skeletal forest.

I catch a glimpse of an evergreen tree, standing tall behind me,

a burst of color amidst gray, barren branches.

"How do you survive when all that is left is hopelessness?" I ask.

It does not reply, yet I still receive an answer.

Because as I close my eyes, prepared to let the early darkness inside of me,

I instead feel the light of the sun warming my back for the first time in what feels like years.

And as my hazel eyes flicker open to see vibrant branches, thriving, even when all seems lost,

My view of this world is altered, and my connection is renewed, 

For I know that I am Autumn's Evergreen,

standing resilient through trauma and the ever changing seasons of my mind.