I’m a winner. Some might even say that I’m the best. I win at everything and I always give my all. I get higher grades than my friends, I get chosen to attend leadership conferences, I do what I can to help my soccer team win - and we usually do. I win the Kahoots and Quizlets at school, I win games online - hell, I even win most of my arguments.
It’s great. It’s awesome. It’s fun. But it’s not what I want.
I want to win at life.
Whether I find out my mother is dating a close family friend, that my friend has severe depression, or that my dad is moving six hours away, it seems that I just can’t win at the things that matter. No matter how many games of Rock, Paper, Scissors I win, I can’t erase the awkwardness I feel when I see the man I once knew as a friend, but now know as my mother’s lover. I can win every iMessage game that I play, but that won’t make my friend stop hating herself. I can win all the violin competitions, all the math contests, and all the Uno tournaments, but no trophy or medal can fill the hole I’ll have when my father leaves.
I guess I am the best.
The best at losing when it counts.
It’s great. It’s awesome. It’s fun. But it’s not what I want.
I want to win at life.
Whether I find out my mother is dating a close family friend, that my friend has severe depression, or that my dad is moving six hours away, it seems that I just can’t win at the things that matter. No matter how many games of Rock, Paper, Scissors I win, I can’t erase the awkwardness I feel when I see the man I once knew as a friend, but now know as my mother’s lover. I can win every iMessage game that I play, but that won’t make my friend stop hating herself. I can win all the violin competitions, all the math contests, and all the Uno tournaments, but no trophy or medal can fill the hole I’ll have when my father leaves.
I guess I am the best.
The best at losing when it counts.
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