When you look at me like that I feel dumb –
pretending you didn't make me weak in the knees.
Pretending I didn't feel them, the zaps of electricity 
crackling in your laugh.
Pretending I was ever immune
to you.
It's been six months now, but it's felt like
longer –
six months of trying to ignore how you made me feel.
And now it's almost summer, 
the season of
lemonade and crabapples,
sun-kissed afternoons by the pond,
summer camp and sunsets and
blackberry juice running down my fingers like
the blood in my veins.
And it's so unfair, I have to spend these next three months that should be heaven to me
hung up on you
missing your freckles, your smile,
the way your eyes look when they're laughing
when I know all too well you don't care
about me.
I know I should probably
hate you
after what you said, what you did,
how you tore and twisted my heart,
but here I am, writing love poem after love poem
because I tried to get over you, 
things just don't work like that
And so now you'll be a ghost all summer long,
next to me but nonexistent,
and I'll dream stolen dreams of what it'd be like to kiss you
with blackberries staining our lips
sour and sweet,
ripe with promise ...the image replaying in my mind like acamera reeluntil I can forget it never happened,and, for a second, believe you'remine.



13 years old

More by star

  • Closer to spring

    Darkness falls quickly now,

    the feeble sky overpowered by the black pull of eternity.

    Snow turns to rain, rain turns to mud,

    and every month, I bleed and I cry.

    It's almost Christmas, but

  • My Heart Will Heal

    Your eyes are dark like midnight, filled with millions of tiny stars

    and I don't know what to say to you, what to do

    because when I see you,




    not in two but in so many scattered pieces,

  • Lose you to the night

    We talk as the twilight turns to dark ash, 

    sit out on the porch and catch fireflies in mason jars--

    only for a second, then let them fly.

    You tell me about friends I barely know, and I nod and smile at you,