Blue days

broken blue 
shattered porcelain scattering across the floor
some relationships are more fragile than the finest glass 
and some are sweet words encapsulated in a reliable see-through bottle
thrown into the unpredictable waves of day to day life
and coming back just as kind
all of them blue
light blue that coats my tongue with the taste of spring 
fluffy clouds and the smell of cotton candy
light blue like fake smiles hiding anxiety and the knowledge 
that the words won't fall from my lips the way I want them to
the way the sky looks at me as if wondering why I can't be happy yet
green blue
seaweed swaying in the cold Maine ocean water
crabs scuttle through my memories 
of the cold water I threw myself into lovingly, only to run out of, laughing from the chill 
it seems every day I grow older
I find myself desiring to go back in time even more
back to navy blue 
the smell of bleach and feel of jeans against my knees 
each tiny branch of ice on a single snowflake 
caught on the eyelashes of a small boy 
who didn't know who he was yet 
blue like the worn-down crayon 
that still lives in the bottom of my backpack
blue like bubbles and sad-happy music 
blue on Sundays underneath clear skies
and blue on Thursdays when it rains
blue on the bad days when I cry more than I laugh
and blue on the good days when I can smile 
and feel as free as the birds.