“Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except pretty much everyone other than Maya,” recited Jessie February dramatically. She was sitting on the couch the wrong way, as was her habit, and reading a book, as was also her habit. Today, that wrong way was upside down, with her head on the seat, and her legs over the back.
“Am too stirring!” argued Maya February, who was sitting on the couch the proper way, texting her middle school friends with a speed that was almost frightening.
“Only if looking at your phone counts as stirring!” refuted Jessie.
“Jessie, sit normally!” reprimanded Ella February, who had just walked in from the kitchen, and was still wearing her coral-colored apron. “It really annoys me when you sit like that.”
“Why shouldn't I sit like this?”Argued Jessie.
“It’s weird!” explained Ella.
“Exactly, that’s why I do it!” Jessie told her.
Ella sighed. It was fruitless to try to get Jessie to do anything she didn't want to, or stop doing anything that she did want to do. After a brief pause she announced, “The cookie dough is rolled out!”
This announcement produced a frenzy of movement. Maya texted a quick GTG to her friends, and hopped up off the couch. Jessie attempted to get out of her odd position, and ended up falling in a most awkward position, with her with her book and some throw pillows tangled up with her. Once she managed to untangle herself, she too jumped up and raced for the kitchen. Two heads popped out of the until now unmentioned blanket fort that was erected in the corner of the living room. One was the head of an American Girl doll, with her glossy black hair braided into an elaborate crown. The other one was very much human, with brown curls bouncing around it. It belonged to Lucy, another one of the February sisters. She too raced to the kitchen, bringing the doll along with her.
Once they were assembled in the kitchen, there was a great struggle to grab cookie cutters, after which, Jessie had grabbed the orangutan and the goat, Maya had the person and the Christmas tree, Ella was holding the snowman and the heart, and Lucy was left with the owl and the candy cane.
“It feels weird to be baking the gingerbread in our own kitchen,” Ella remarked after all had begun cutting.
“Yeah, I wish we could go to Grandma and Grandpa’s like usual,” lamented Lucy. “They have a piano.”
“Plus, it just doesn't feel like Christmas without them,” added Jessie.
“And it especially doesn't feel like Christmas without Daddy,” Lucy finished.
“Plus, we can’t even go shopping properly!” grumped Maya. “It’s not nearly as much fun online.”
“Really, we shouldn't be upset about this,” interrupted Ella. “We're really lucky. So many people have died during this pandemic. If the worst we have to deal with is online shopping, and making gingerbread alone, we’re doing pretty well. But I get it. I’m upset about all this too.”
“Remember how, at the beginning of the pandemic we all thought it would be over in a few weeks?” Jessie reminded them.
“And now it’s been over half a year,” replied Maya. “Half a year with no art lessons.”
“No plays,” added Jessie.
“No parties,” added Ella.
“And no piano!” finished Lucy, looking forlorn, as she often did these days. Aside from her family, piano was her one passion, her one reason to live. Before the pandemic, she had practiced on her neighbor’s piano, or on the piano in the local church. Now, both of those places were out.
After a few minutes of cutting in silence Jesssie felt the need to lighten the mood.
“The Christmas orangutan!” she exclaimed, holding up a gingerbread cookie she had cut in the shape of a primate. Everyone laughed, even Maya, though she rolled her eyes at the same time.
Soon, the conversation turned to lighter topics like the play they were putting on for their mom the next day.
“I added this great new scene!” exclaimed Jessie, who was in charge of writing the play. “Prince Charming brings Flora to the castle, and his mom is being ‘totally embarrassing’(she said this while making air quotes with her fingers), but actually she charms Flora way more than Prince Charming ever does.”
“Please tell me I’m not in this scene,” groaned Maya.
“Ummm… you kind of are,” replied Jessie sheepishly.
“Urg. How am I supposed to memorize all my lines when you keep adding new ones, or changing the one’s I’ve already memorized?” grumped Maya.
“I’m just trying to make it a good play!” argued Jessie, getting angry already.
“You always write good plays,”Lucy remarked, both trying to diffuse her sisters’ argument, and giving a genuine compliment, for to her, nothing could be more beautiful or more funny than the little plays and stories her sister worte.
“You can do it,” added Ella “you’re a good actress! It runs in the family.” She said this last sentence with a grin, alluding as she often did to her starring role in Alice in Wonderland in the fall of her sophomore year.
“Off with his head!” cried Jessie, alluding to her own role as the queen of hearts. Always happy to oblige, Lucy cut the head neatly off one of Maya’s gingerbread men. This act caused all of the sisters to laugh, and Jessie in particular to laugh so hard she literally fell down, bringing the tray of nicely cut gingerbread cookies down with her for a spectacular crash.
Immediately, she stopped laughing “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I’m sososososososososososo sorry! All of our hard work ruined! I’m sosososososososososo sorry! I should never be trusted near items!”
“Jessie, Jessie, it’s ok! I only brought out half of the dough I made!” Ella assured her. In her head she added, I knew you would cause some sort of catastrophe, so I prepared for that..
“Let’s have some music,” suggested Lucy, who was always up for music, and knew that it was often the only way to calm her chaotic family down. Maya, whose phone was nearest, put on Meghan Trainor radio on Pandora. Lucy began singing along to “Walkashame”, and Ella rolled out the new cookie dough. Maya went away to wrap some presents that had only recently arrived in the mail, and Jessie settled down under the kitchen island to read The Vanderbeekers.
While the February sisters are happily and quietly engaged, I, the narrator, will give you, the reader, a nice description so that you can better picture the four sisters. If you do not like descriptions, you can feel free to skip this next bit.
Ella February is the oldest of the sisters, at sixteen. She is average height and very pretty, with straight glossy brown hair that always seems to be perfectly brushed, and the graceful, attention-commanding manner of an actress. Today, she is wearing a pink sweater, cut off high in the odd fashion of the early twenty-first century, a pair of comfy jeans, and her stained coral apron. She is humming along to the songs quietly to herself as she rolls out the dough.
Jessie February is next in line, an overgrown child at fifteen. She is very tall and gangly, and accordingly clumsy. Her light brown hair would be as glossy and pretty as Ella’s if she remembered to brush it. As it is, it is usually pulled back into a tangled ponytail with one of the Slytherin scrunchies her grandmother accidentally bought her, despite the fact that she’s a Griffendor. Today she is wearing a pair of tatty old Christmas pajamas, despite the fact that it is almost four pm. She is sitting cross-legged under the kitchen island, completely unaware of anything going on around her, reading her book with remarkable speed.
The next youngest is Lucy, who is thirteen years old. She has brown hair that falls in perfect curls around her face, except early in the morning when she usually has the best bed-head of anyone in the family, except Jessie of course, but she doesn't count because she builds up her bed-heads over many days. She has a very round childish face, and a smattering of freckles decorates her nose and cheeks. Today she is wearing a long sleeved dress with a print of holly clusters and a pair of red leggings, which give her a very Christmassy look. She is singing along to the pop song playing, as oblivious to the world as Jessie, as her fingers find where the notes on the piano would be on the counter-top.
Maya is the youngest, at twelve, though she often acts like the oldest. Her hair would be as curly as Lucy’s, if she didn’t straighten it every morning before starting her day. Insead, it is as straight and glossy as her oldest sister’s. She would also have a childish face, were it not for the fact that she frequently pilfered make-up from Ella’s stash, and applied it liberally, making her look at least two years older. She was also wearing a cut-off sweater and jeans, for she idolized Ella and wanted to be exactly like her, but her sweater is blue, so as not to copy her. She was wrapping her family’s presents, lip-syncing to the song, and pondering what her presents might be.
All of the Febuarys stayed happily engaged like this for a long while, and as they did, the snow began to fall, and the sun to set, making everything perfectly cozy and Christmassy.
All of this quiet activity was interrupted by a call of “Girls! I’m back from Zoom land!” This produced even more activity than the earlier announcement about the cookie dough. All of the sisters literally dropped whatever they were doing, except Ella, who carefully put down the rolling pin so as not to ruin the rest of the dough. They all jumped up (Jessie banged her head on the bottom of the kitchen island in the process) and ran to hug the woman who had just emerged from the door of the guest room-slash-office-slash-cactus nursery. She was a middle aged woman with a young face and curly brown hair like her daughters. The only things that showed that she was actually Fifty years old were the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes that showed just how smily, kind and excitable she was.
“Sorry about missing Christmas Eve. There’s just so many people who need a therapist right now.”All of her daughters hastened to tell her that there was no need to apologize, but only sensitive Lucy noticed how defeated her mother’s voice sounded. Like she knew she'd never make a dent in the number of people affected mentally by the pandemic. “What have my girls been up to?” she asked.
Jessie was the first to respond, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet with excitement. “I’ve been reading this awesome new book, The Vanderbeekers, which is set a few days before Christmas, and there’s a character named Jessie who is awesome. She loves science, and is just so nerdy and quirky and awesome, and there's this one scene where their landlord is kicking them out, and Jessie says that it’s contradictory to Newton’s third law, because her dad is super helpful to the landlord and Newton's third law says that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and Lany, who’s three says, ‘I want to see a newton,’ and Oliver, the eleven year old, and just as much of a bookworm as I am, finds a picture of Issac Newton in an old encyclopedia, and Lany likes his hair, but Jessie says not to read it because it has too much outdated science.”
The rest of the family watched Jessie’s monologue with varying expressions on their faces. Lucy and Ms. February watched with expressions of adoring amusement, for they loved all of Jessie's quirkiness. Maya watched with an expression of annoyance, for she was getting impatient for her turn to talk. Ella watched with a mixed up expression that captured just how she felt about her sister these days. Half of her wanted to be embarrassed to have such a weird, nerdy, sister, but the other half of her loved Jessie more than anything. They weren't even a full year apart, and had done everything together since they were babies, so that part of Ella hated herself for being embarrassed of her sister.
“I’ve been sketching the snow fall,” Maya interrupted her sister’s thoughts, “and wrapping presents, and texting Jessica, Chloe and Grace about random stuff.”
After a brief pause, Lucy chimed in, “I’ve been working on secret stuff in my secret tent, and getting Carole, Alicia, Vanessa, and Billy dressed up for Christmas.”
Carole, Alicia, Vanessa, and Billy were Lucy's rescued dolls. She had found them at yard sales, in second hand stores, and, on one memorable occasion, under a rack of clothes in the Gap, cleaned them up, and gave them a new home in a large cardboard box that used to contain the parts to build an Ikea bed. They were all named after famous singer-songwriters who played the piano. Even though she was thirteen, and, by most people’s standards, much too old for dolls, Lucy made sure that they didn't feel neglected by dressing them up for special occasions, serving them play food on their little cardboard table, and occasionally taking them out for walks early in the morning, when nobody was around to tell her that she was too old for dolls.
“I made gingerbread cookies,” Ella added, “and I zoomed with Sophie for a while. We did stage makeup on ourselves for different famous characters.”
After a longer pause, this time, Maya burst out, “It’s so frustrating! We’re alone on Christmas Eve, just doing random stuff around the house. We don’t even have Daddy for Christmas! And all the vegetables we have now are gross old ones from the quickshop!” she added, before realizing that that last one was really a silly complaint.
“I’m sorry,” Maya apoligised a moment after. “I know we’re lucky to all be healthy, and to have such a big house and yard to be isolated in. And I know that Daddy’s a hero, and saving lives, and that he moved into an apartment to protect us. I really am sorry. I try not to complain, and to be a good sister and a good daughter, but it’s just so hard!”
“We all try,” added Ella.
“Or at least try to try” added Jessie.
After a long pause, Ms. February thought of something. “You know how in books, the main character often has two problems, an external conflict and an internal conflict?” Jessie smiled at this. She had no idea where her mother’s lecture was going, but liked it so far. “Well,” Ms. February continued, “We all have the same external conflict right now, Covid-19, and there’s not much we can do about that, but we can all work to resolve our internal conflicts, starting with identifying them”
Jessie went first, as she had enjoyed all the literature analogies.“Mine are my lousy social skills, my temper, and my unwillingness to live in the real world.”
“Mine are my grumpiness and the fact that I don’t always get along with my sisters very well,” confessed Maya, glancing at Jessie as she said the last bit.
“Mine are my social anxiety, and the fact that I spend more time than I should wishing for a piano,” Lucy added.
“Mine are the fact that I accidentally-on-purpose forget my chores too much, that I can be a bit too hung up on the way things used to be before the pandemic, and,... well… never mind.” Ella added, trailing off at the end, unsure of how to tell her mom about her confusion over Jessie without upsetting her sister.
“You can tell me later,” her mother assured her, as she guessed what her last conflict was, and knew that it would upset Jesssie, even if put nicely. “I know you know that there won't be much money left over for presents this year, what with all of the money we’ve been donating to the Red Cross, but I got you each a present that I think will help you with your internal conflicts. A guide book, if you will. And I’m sure that, if you all try hard to take care of each other, we can all get through this together.”
…
Later that evening, after Lucy and Maya were asleep in their bunk beds, while Jessie was reading more Vanderbeekers, Ella came downstairs to find her mom typing away on her computer.
“Are you emailing Dad?” she asked, peering over her mom’s shoulder.
“Yeah,” replied her mom, sounding tired, “I’m just trying to send him a Merry Christmas. Anything you want me to tell him from you?”
“Just that I love him, which I know you were going to do anyway,” Ella answered.
After a pause which seemed more awkward than comfortable, Ella confessed. “What I was trying to tell you earlier, it’s about Jessie. I just, I just don't know what to feel about her anymore. I love her, of course, but lately it seems like we don’t have anything in common but a house and a last name. Like I probably wouldn't be friends with her if she was just a random person in school. And I can’t blame it on her, because I’m the one who’s changed. The thing about Jessie is, she hasn't. And also,” she added nervously, “Sometimes I feel embarrassed. Embarrassed that she’s my sister. I know it’s horrible of me, and I hate it, but I don’t know how to stop. She’s just so … strange.”
“I know she’s strange. It’s normal to feel embarrassed of your weird family members. You are a teenager, after all. But do keep trying to not be embarrassed of her. Maybe, next time, you can try this. Remember a specific time when you remembered why you love her. Remember why you love her. Hopefully, that will help you see that she’s really not so embarrassing after all. Also, your present should help too,” she finished mysteriously.
“Thanks Mom, I’ll try,” replied Ella, “I'm going to go to bed now.”
“Goodnight honey,” called Ms. February, as Ella headed back upstairs.
“Goodnight Mom,” Ella called back.
Then, when Ella disappeared upstairs, Ms. February went to the closet in the mudroom, and grabbed an Amazon box. She grabbed a roll of duct tape (they were out of scotch tape), and searched futilely for wrapping paper, before at last giving up and tearing pages out of old Cook's Illustrated magazines to serve the same purpose. Then, with these less-than-perfect tools, she neatly wrapped up four perfect presents, four guidebooks disguised as fiction, and placed them under the scraggly Christmas tree.
“Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except pretty much everyone other than Maya,” recited Jessie February dramatically. She was sitting on the couch the wrong way, as was her habit, and reading a book, as was also her habit. Today, that wrong way was upside down, with her head on the seat, and her legs over the back.
“Am too stirring!” argued Maya February, who was sitting on the couch the proper way, texting her middle school friends with a speed that was almost frightening.
“Only if looking at your phone counts as stirring!” refuted Jessie.
“Jessie, sit normally!” reprimanded Ella February, who had just walked in from the kitchen, and was still wearing her coral-colored apron. “It really annoys me when you sit like that.”
“Why shouldn't I sit like this?”Argued Jessie.
“It’s weird!” explained Ella.
“Exactly, that’s why I do it!” Jessie told her.
Ella sighed. It was fruitless to try to get Jessie to do anything she didn't want to, or stop doing anything that she did want to do. After a brief pause she announced, “The cookie dough is rolled out!”
This announcement produced a frenzy of movement. Maya texted a quick GTG to her friends, and hopped up off the couch. Jessie attempted to get out of her odd position, and ended up falling in a most awkward position, with her with her book and some throw pillows tangled up with her. Once she managed to untangle herself, she too jumped up and raced for the kitchen. Two heads popped out of the until now unmentioned blanket fort that was erected in the corner of the living room. One was the head of an American Girl doll, with her glossy black hair braided into an elaborate crown. The other one was very much human, with brown curls bouncing around it. It belonged to Lucy, another one of the February sisters. She too raced to the kitchen, bringing the doll along with her.
Once they were assembled in the kitchen, there was a great struggle to grab cookie cutters, after which, Jessie had grabbed the orangutan and the goat, Maya had the person and the Christmas tree, Ella was holding the snowman and the heart, and Lucy was left with the owl and the candy cane.
“It feels weird to be baking the gingerbread in our own kitchen,” Ella remarked after all had begun cutting.
“Yeah, I wish we could go to Grandma and Grandpa’s like usual,” lamented Lucy. “They have a piano.”
“Plus, it just doesn't feel like Christmas without them,” added Jessie.
“And it especially doesn't feel like Christmas without Daddy,” Lucy finished.
“Plus, we can’t even go shopping properly!” grumped Maya. “It’s not nearly as much fun online.”
“Really, we shouldn't be upset about this,” interrupted Ella. “We're really lucky. So many people have died during this pandemic. If the worst we have to deal with is online shopping, and making gingerbread alone, we’re doing pretty well. But I get it. I’m upset about all this too.”
“Remember how, at the beginning of the pandemic we all thought it would be over in a few weeks?” Jessie reminded them.
“And now it’s been over half a year,” replied Maya. “Half a year with no art lessons.”
“No plays,” added Jessie.
“No parties,” added Ella.
“And no piano!” finished Lucy, looking forlorn, as she often did these days. Aside from her family, piano was her one passion, her one reason to live. Before the pandemic, she had practiced on her neighbor’s piano, or on the piano in the local church. Now, both of those places were out.
After a few minutes of cutting in silence Jesssie felt the need to lighten the mood.
“The Christmas orangutan!” she exclaimed, holding up a gingerbread cookie she had cut in the shape of a primate. Everyone laughed, even Maya, though she rolled her eyes at the same time.
Soon, the conversation turned to lighter topics like the play they were putting on for their mom the next day.
“I added this great new scene!” exclaimed Jessie, who was in charge of writing the play. “Prince Charming brings Flora to the castle, and his mom is being ‘totally embarrassing’(she said this while making air quotes with her fingers), but actually she charms Flora way more than Prince Charming ever does.”
“Please tell me I’m not in this scene,” groaned Maya.
“Ummm… you kind of are,” replied Jessie sheepishly.
“Urg. How am I supposed to memorize all my lines when you keep adding new ones, or changing the one’s I’ve already memorized?” grumped Maya.
“I’m just trying to make it a good play!” argued Jessie, getting angry already.
“You always write good plays,”Lucy remarked, both trying to diffuse her sisters’ argument, and giving a genuine compliment, for to her, nothing could be more beautiful or more funny than the little plays and stories her sister worte.
“You can do it,” added Ella “you’re a good actress! It runs in the family.” She said this last sentence with a grin, alluding as she often did to her starring role in Alice in Wonderland in the fall of her sophomore year.
“Off with his head!” cried Jessie, alluding to her own role as the queen of hearts. Always happy to oblige, Lucy cut the head neatly off one of Maya’s gingerbread men. This act caused all of the sisters to laugh, and Jessie in particular to laugh so hard she literally fell down, bringing the tray of nicely cut gingerbread cookies down with her for a spectacular crash.
Immediately, she stopped laughing “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I’m sososososososososososo sorry! All of our hard work ruined! I’m sosososososososososo sorry! I should never be trusted near items!”
“Jessie, Jessie, it’s ok! I only brought out half of the dough I made!” Ella assured her. In her head she added, I knew you would cause some sort of catastrophe, so I prepared for that..
“Let’s have some music,” suggested Lucy, who was always up for music, and knew that it was often the only way to calm her chaotic family down. Maya, whose phone was nearest, put on Meghan Trainor radio on Pandora. Lucy began singing along to “Walkashame”, and Ella rolled out the new cookie dough. Maya went away to wrap some presents that had only recently arrived in the mail, and Jessie settled down under the kitchen island to read The Vanderbeekers.
While the February sisters are happily and quietly engaged, I, the narrator, will give you, the reader, a nice description so that you can better picture the four sisters. If you do not like descriptions, you can feel free to skip this next bit.
Ella February is the oldest of the sisters, at sixteen. She is average height and very pretty, with straight glossy brown hair that always seems to be perfectly brushed, and the graceful, attention-commanding manner of an actress. Today, she is wearing a pink sweater, cut off high in the odd fashion of the early twenty-first century, a pair of comfy jeans, and her stained coral apron. She is humming along to the songs quietly to herself as she rolls out the dough.
Jessie February is next in line, an overgrown child at fifteen. She is very tall and gangly, and accordingly clumsy. Her light brown hair would be as glossy and pretty as Ella’s if she remembered to brush it. As it is, it is usually pulled back into a tangled ponytail with one of the Slytherin scrunchies her grandmother accidentally bought her, despite the fact that she’s a Griffendor. Today she is wearing a pair of tatty old Christmas pajamas, despite the fact that it is almost four pm. She is sitting cross-legged under the kitchen island, completely unaware of anything going on around her, reading her book with remarkable speed.
The next youngest is Lucy, who is thirteen years old. She has brown hair that falls in perfect curls around her face, except early in the morning when she usually has the best bed-head of anyone in the family, except Jessie of course, but she doesn't count because she builds up her bed-heads over many days. She has a very round childish face, and a smattering of freckles decorates her nose and cheeks. Today she is wearing a long sleeved dress with a print of holly clusters and a pair of red leggings, which give her a very Christmassy look. She is singing along to the pop song playing, as oblivious to the world as Jessie, as her fingers find where the notes on the piano would be on the counter-top.
Maya is the youngest, at twelve, though she often acts like the oldest. Her hair would be as curly as Lucy’s, if she didn’t straighten it every morning before starting her day. Insead, it is as straight and glossy as her oldest sister’s. She would also have a childish face, were it not for the fact that she frequently pilfered make-up from Ella’s stash, and applied it liberally, making her look at least two years older. She was also wearing a cut-off sweater and jeans, for she idolized Ella and wanted to be exactly like her, but her sweater is blue, so as not to copy her. She was wrapping her family’s presents, lip-syncing to the song, and pondering what her presents might be.
All of the Febuarys stayed happily engaged like this for a long while, and as they did, the snow began to fall, and the sun to set, making everything perfectly cozy and Christmassy.
All of this quiet activity was interrupted by a call of “Girls! I’m back from Zoom land!” This produced even more activity than the earlier announcement about the cookie dough. All of the sisters literally dropped whatever they were doing, except Ella, who carefully put down the rolling pin so as not to ruin the rest of the dough. They all jumped up (Jessie banged her head on the bottom of the kitchen island in the process) and ran to hug the woman who had just emerged from the door of the guest room-slash-office-slash-cactus nursery. She was a middle aged woman with a young face and curly brown hair like her daughters. The only things that showed that she was actually Fifty years old were the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes that showed just how smily, kind and excitable she was.
“Sorry about missing Christmas Eve. There’s just so many people who need a therapist right now.”All of her daughters hastened to tell her that there was no need to apologize, but only sensitive Lucy noticed how defeated her mother’s voice sounded. Like she knew she'd never make a dent in the number of people affected mentally by the pandemic. “What have my girls been up to?” she asked.
Jessie was the first to respond, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet with excitement. “I’ve been reading this awesome new book, The Vanderbeekers, which is set a few days before Christmas, and there’s a character named Jessie who is awesome. She loves science, and is just so nerdy and quirky and awesome, and there's this one scene where their landlord is kicking them out, and Jessie says that it’s contradictory to Newton’s third law, because her dad is super helpful to the landlord and Newton's third law says that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and Lany, who’s three says, ‘I want to see a newton,’ and Oliver, the eleven year old, and just as much of a bookworm as I am, finds a picture of Issac Newton in an old encyclopedia, and Lany likes his hair, but Jessie says not to read it because it has too much outdated science.”
The rest of the family watched Jessie’s monologue with varying expressions on their faces. Lucy and Ms. February watched with expressions of adoring amusement, for they loved all of Jessie's quirkiness. Maya watched with an expression of annoyance, for she was getting impatient for her turn to talk. Ella watched with a mixed up expression that captured just how she felt about her sister these days. Half of her wanted to be embarrassed to have such a weird, nerdy, sister, but the other half of her loved Jessie more than anything. They weren't even a full year apart, and had done everything together since they were babies, so that part of Ella hated herself for being embarrassed of her sister.
“I’ve been sketching the snow fall,” Maya interrupted her sister’s thoughts, “and wrapping presents, and texting Jessica, Chloe and Grace about random stuff.”
After a brief pause, Lucy chimed in, “I’ve been working on secret stuff in my secret tent, and getting Carole, Alicia, Vanessa, and Billy dressed up for Christmas.”
Carole, Alicia, Vanessa, and Billy were Lucy's rescued dolls. She had found them at yard sales, in second hand stores, and, on one memorable occasion, under a rack of clothes in the Gap, cleaned them up, and gave them a new home in a large cardboard box that used to contain the parts to build an Ikea bed. They were all named after famous singer-songwriters who played the piano. Even though she was thirteen, and, by most people’s standards, much too old for dolls, Lucy made sure that they didn't feel neglected by dressing them up for special occasions, serving them play food on their little cardboard table, and occasionally taking them out for walks early in the morning, when nobody was around to tell her that she was too old for dolls.
“I made gingerbread cookies,” Ella added, “and I zoomed with Sophie for a while. We did stage makeup on ourselves for different famous characters.”
After a longer pause, this time, Maya burst out, “It’s so frustrating! We’re alone on Christmas Eve, just doing random stuff around the house. We don’t even have Daddy for Christmas! And all the vegetables we have now are gross old ones from the quickshop!” she added, before realizing that that last one was really a silly complaint.
“I’m sorry,” Maya apoligised a moment after. “I know we’re lucky to all be healthy, and to have such a big house and yard to be isolated in. And I know that Daddy’s a hero, and saving lives, and that he moved into an apartment to protect us. I really am sorry. I try not to complain, and to be a good sister and a good daughter, but it’s just so hard!”
“We all try,” added Ella.
“Or at least try to try” added Jessie.
After a long pause, Ms. February thought of something. “You know how in books, the main character often has two problems, an external conflict and an internal conflict?” Jessie smiled at this. She had no idea where her mother’s lecture was going, but liked it so far. “Well,” Ms. February continued, “We all have the same external conflict right now, Covid-19, and there’s not much we can do about that, but we can all work to resolve our internal conflicts, starting with identifying them”
Jessie went first, as she had enjoyed all the literature analogies.“Mine are my lousy social skills, my temper, and my unwillingness to live in the real world.”
“Mine are my grumpiness and the fact that I don’t always get along with my sisters very well,” confessed Maya, glancing at Jessie as she said the last bit.
“Mine are my social anxiety, and the fact that I spend more time than I should wishing for a piano,” Lucy added.
“Mine are the fact that I accidentally-on-purpose forget my chores too much, that I can be a bit too hung up on the way things used to be before the pandemic, and,... well… never mind.” Ella added, trailing off at the end, unsure of how to tell her mom about her confusion over Jessie without upsetting her sister.
“You can tell me later,” her mother assured her, as she guessed what her last conflict was, and knew that it would upset Jesssie, even if put nicely. “I know you know that there won't be much money left over for presents this year, what with all of the money we’ve been donating to the Red Cross, but I got you each a present that I think will help you with your internal conflicts. A guide book, if you will. And I’m sure that, if you all try hard to take care of each other, we can all get through this together.”
…
Later that evening, after Lucy and Maya were asleep in their bunk beds, while Jessie was reading more Vanderbeekers, Ella came downstairs to find her mom typing away on her computer.
“Are you emailing Dad?” she asked, peering over her mom’s shoulder.
“Yeah,” replied her mom, sounding tired, “I’m just trying to send him a Merry Christmas. Anything you want me to tell him from you?”
“Just that I love him, which I know you were going to do anyway,” Ella answered.
After a pause which seemed more awkward than comfortable, Ella confessed. “What I was trying to tell you earlier, it’s about Jessie. I just, I just don't know what to feel about her anymore. I love her, of course, but lately it seems like we don’t have anything in common but a house and a last name. Like I probably wouldn't be friends with her if she was just a random person in school. And I can’t blame it on her, because I’m the one who’s changed. The thing about Jessie is, she hasn't. And also,” she added nervously, “Sometimes I feel embarrassed. Embarrassed that she’s my sister. I know it’s horrible of me, and I hate it, but I don’t know how to stop. She’s just so … strange.”
“I know she’s strange. It’s normal to feel embarrassed of your weird family members. You are a teenager, after all. But do keep trying to not be embarrassed of her. Maybe, next time, you can try this. Remember a specific time when you remembered why you love her. Remember why you love her. Hopefully, that will help you see that she’s really not so embarrassing after all. Also, your present should help too,” she finished mysteriously.
“Thanks Mom, I’ll try,” replied Ella, “I'm going to go to bed now.”
“Goodnight honey,” called Ms. February, as Ella headed back upstairs.
“Goodnight Mom,” Ella called back.
Then, when Ella disappeared upstairs, Ms. February went to the closet in the mudroom, and grabbed an Amazon box. She grabbed a roll of duct tape (they were out of scotch tape), and searched futilely for wrapping paper, before at last giving up and tearing pages out of old Cook's Illustrated magazines to serve the same purpose. Then, with these less-than-perfect tools, she neatly wrapped up four perfect presents, four guidebooks disguised as fiction, and placed them under the scraggly Christmas tree.
“Am too stirring!” argued Maya February, who was sitting on the couch the proper way, texting her middle school friends with a speed that was almost frightening.
“Only if looking at your phone counts as stirring!” refuted Jessie.
“Jessie, sit normally!” reprimanded Ella February, who had just walked in from the kitchen, and was still wearing her coral-colored apron. “It really annoys me when you sit like that.”
“Why shouldn't I sit like this?”Argued Jessie.
“It’s weird!” explained Ella.
“Exactly, that’s why I do it!” Jessie told her.
Ella sighed. It was fruitless to try to get Jessie to do anything she didn't want to, or stop doing anything that she did want to do. After a brief pause she announced, “The cookie dough is rolled out!”
This announcement produced a frenzy of movement. Maya texted a quick GTG to her friends, and hopped up off the couch. Jessie attempted to get out of her odd position, and ended up falling in a most awkward position, with her with her book and some throw pillows tangled up with her. Once she managed to untangle herself, she too jumped up and raced for the kitchen. Two heads popped out of the until now unmentioned blanket fort that was erected in the corner of the living room. One was the head of an American Girl doll, with her glossy black hair braided into an elaborate crown. The other one was very much human, with brown curls bouncing around it. It belonged to Lucy, another one of the February sisters. She too raced to the kitchen, bringing the doll along with her.
Once they were assembled in the kitchen, there was a great struggle to grab cookie cutters, after which, Jessie had grabbed the orangutan and the goat, Maya had the person and the Christmas tree, Ella was holding the snowman and the heart, and Lucy was left with the owl and the candy cane.
“It feels weird to be baking the gingerbread in our own kitchen,” Ella remarked after all had begun cutting.
“Yeah, I wish we could go to Grandma and Grandpa’s like usual,” lamented Lucy. “They have a piano.”
“Plus, it just doesn't feel like Christmas without them,” added Jessie.
“And it especially doesn't feel like Christmas without Daddy,” Lucy finished.
“Plus, we can’t even go shopping properly!” grumped Maya. “It’s not nearly as much fun online.”
“Really, we shouldn't be upset about this,” interrupted Ella. “We're really lucky. So many people have died during this pandemic. If the worst we have to deal with is online shopping, and making gingerbread alone, we’re doing pretty well. But I get it. I’m upset about all this too.”
“Remember how, at the beginning of the pandemic we all thought it would be over in a few weeks?” Jessie reminded them.
“And now it’s been over half a year,” replied Maya. “Half a year with no art lessons.”
“No plays,” added Jessie.
“No parties,” added Ella.
“And no piano!” finished Lucy, looking forlorn, as she often did these days. Aside from her family, piano was her one passion, her one reason to live. Before the pandemic, she had practiced on her neighbor’s piano, or on the piano in the local church. Now, both of those places were out.
After a few minutes of cutting in silence Jesssie felt the need to lighten the mood.
“The Christmas orangutan!” she exclaimed, holding up a gingerbread cookie she had cut in the shape of a primate. Everyone laughed, even Maya, though she rolled her eyes at the same time.
Soon, the conversation turned to lighter topics like the play they were putting on for their mom the next day.
“I added this great new scene!” exclaimed Jessie, who was in charge of writing the play. “Prince Charming brings Flora to the castle, and his mom is being ‘totally embarrassing’(she said this while making air quotes with her fingers), but actually she charms Flora way more than Prince Charming ever does.”
“Please tell me I’m not in this scene,” groaned Maya.
“Ummm… you kind of are,” replied Jessie sheepishly.
“Urg. How am I supposed to memorize all my lines when you keep adding new ones, or changing the one’s I’ve already memorized?” grumped Maya.
“I’m just trying to make it a good play!” argued Jessie, getting angry already.
“You always write good plays,”Lucy remarked, both trying to diffuse her sisters’ argument, and giving a genuine compliment, for to her, nothing could be more beautiful or more funny than the little plays and stories her sister worte.
“You can do it,” added Ella “you’re a good actress! It runs in the family.” She said this last sentence with a grin, alluding as she often did to her starring role in Alice in Wonderland in the fall of her sophomore year.
“Off with his head!” cried Jessie, alluding to her own role as the queen of hearts. Always happy to oblige, Lucy cut the head neatly off one of Maya’s gingerbread men. This act caused all of the sisters to laugh, and Jessie in particular to laugh so hard she literally fell down, bringing the tray of nicely cut gingerbread cookies down with her for a spectacular crash.
Immediately, she stopped laughing “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I’m sososososososososososo sorry! All of our hard work ruined! I’m sosososososososososo sorry! I should never be trusted near items!”
“Jessie, Jessie, it’s ok! I only brought out half of the dough I made!” Ella assured her. In her head she added, I knew you would cause some sort of catastrophe, so I prepared for that..
“Let’s have some music,” suggested Lucy, who was always up for music, and knew that it was often the only way to calm her chaotic family down. Maya, whose phone was nearest, put on Meghan Trainor radio on Pandora. Lucy began singing along to “Walkashame”, and Ella rolled out the new cookie dough. Maya went away to wrap some presents that had only recently arrived in the mail, and Jessie settled down under the kitchen island to read The Vanderbeekers.
While the February sisters are happily and quietly engaged, I, the narrator, will give you, the reader, a nice description so that you can better picture the four sisters. If you do not like descriptions, you can feel free to skip this next bit.
Ella February is the oldest of the sisters, at sixteen. She is average height and very pretty, with straight glossy brown hair that always seems to be perfectly brushed, and the graceful, attention-commanding manner of an actress. Today, she is wearing a pink sweater, cut off high in the odd fashion of the early twenty-first century, a pair of comfy jeans, and her stained coral apron. She is humming along to the songs quietly to herself as she rolls out the dough.
Jessie February is next in line, an overgrown child at fifteen. She is very tall and gangly, and accordingly clumsy. Her light brown hair would be as glossy and pretty as Ella’s if she remembered to brush it. As it is, it is usually pulled back into a tangled ponytail with one of the Slytherin scrunchies her grandmother accidentally bought her, despite the fact that she’s a Griffendor. Today she is wearing a pair of tatty old Christmas pajamas, despite the fact that it is almost four pm. She is sitting cross-legged under the kitchen island, completely unaware of anything going on around her, reading her book with remarkable speed.
The next youngest is Lucy, who is thirteen years old. She has brown hair that falls in perfect curls around her face, except early in the morning when she usually has the best bed-head of anyone in the family, except Jessie of course, but she doesn't count because she builds up her bed-heads over many days. She has a very round childish face, and a smattering of freckles decorates her nose and cheeks. Today she is wearing a long sleeved dress with a print of holly clusters and a pair of red leggings, which give her a very Christmassy look. She is singing along to the pop song playing, as oblivious to the world as Jessie, as her fingers find where the notes on the piano would be on the counter-top.
Maya is the youngest, at twelve, though she often acts like the oldest. Her hair would be as curly as Lucy’s, if she didn’t straighten it every morning before starting her day. Insead, it is as straight and glossy as her oldest sister’s. She would also have a childish face, were it not for the fact that she frequently pilfered make-up from Ella’s stash, and applied it liberally, making her look at least two years older. She was also wearing a cut-off sweater and jeans, for she idolized Ella and wanted to be exactly like her, but her sweater is blue, so as not to copy her. She was wrapping her family’s presents, lip-syncing to the song, and pondering what her presents might be.
All of the Febuarys stayed happily engaged like this for a long while, and as they did, the snow began to fall, and the sun to set, making everything perfectly cozy and Christmassy.
All of this quiet activity was interrupted by a call of “Girls! I’m back from Zoom land!” This produced even more activity than the earlier announcement about the cookie dough. All of the sisters literally dropped whatever they were doing, except Ella, who carefully put down the rolling pin so as not to ruin the rest of the dough. They all jumped up (Jessie banged her head on the bottom of the kitchen island in the process) and ran to hug the woman who had just emerged from the door of the guest room-slash-office-slash-cactus nursery. She was a middle aged woman with a young face and curly brown hair like her daughters. The only things that showed that she was actually Fifty years old were the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes that showed just how smily, kind and excitable she was.
“Sorry about missing Christmas Eve. There’s just so many people who need a therapist right now.”All of her daughters hastened to tell her that there was no need to apologize, but only sensitive Lucy noticed how defeated her mother’s voice sounded. Like she knew she'd never make a dent in the number of people affected mentally by the pandemic. “What have my girls been up to?” she asked.
Jessie was the first to respond, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet with excitement. “I’ve been reading this awesome new book, The Vanderbeekers, which is set a few days before Christmas, and there’s a character named Jessie who is awesome. She loves science, and is just so nerdy and quirky and awesome, and there's this one scene where their landlord is kicking them out, and Jessie says that it’s contradictory to Newton’s third law, because her dad is super helpful to the landlord and Newton's third law says that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and Lany, who’s three says, ‘I want to see a newton,’ and Oliver, the eleven year old, and just as much of a bookworm as I am, finds a picture of Issac Newton in an old encyclopedia, and Lany likes his hair, but Jessie says not to read it because it has too much outdated science.”
The rest of the family watched Jessie’s monologue with varying expressions on their faces. Lucy and Ms. February watched with expressions of adoring amusement, for they loved all of Jessie's quirkiness. Maya watched with an expression of annoyance, for she was getting impatient for her turn to talk. Ella watched with a mixed up expression that captured just how she felt about her sister these days. Half of her wanted to be embarrassed to have such a weird, nerdy, sister, but the other half of her loved Jessie more than anything. They weren't even a full year apart, and had done everything together since they were babies, so that part of Ella hated herself for being embarrassed of her sister.
“I’ve been sketching the snow fall,” Maya interrupted her sister’s thoughts, “and wrapping presents, and texting Jessica, Chloe and Grace about random stuff.”
After a brief pause, Lucy chimed in, “I’ve been working on secret stuff in my secret tent, and getting Carole, Alicia, Vanessa, and Billy dressed up for Christmas.”
Carole, Alicia, Vanessa, and Billy were Lucy's rescued dolls. She had found them at yard sales, in second hand stores, and, on one memorable occasion, under a rack of clothes in the Gap, cleaned them up, and gave them a new home in a large cardboard box that used to contain the parts to build an Ikea bed. They were all named after famous singer-songwriters who played the piano. Even though she was thirteen, and, by most people’s standards, much too old for dolls, Lucy made sure that they didn't feel neglected by dressing them up for special occasions, serving them play food on their little cardboard table, and occasionally taking them out for walks early in the morning, when nobody was around to tell her that she was too old for dolls.
“I made gingerbread cookies,” Ella added, “and I zoomed with Sophie for a while. We did stage makeup on ourselves for different famous characters.”
After a longer pause, this time, Maya burst out, “It’s so frustrating! We’re alone on Christmas Eve, just doing random stuff around the house. We don’t even have Daddy for Christmas! And all the vegetables we have now are gross old ones from the quickshop!” she added, before realizing that that last one was really a silly complaint.
“I’m sorry,” Maya apoligised a moment after. “I know we’re lucky to all be healthy, and to have such a big house and yard to be isolated in. And I know that Daddy’s a hero, and saving lives, and that he moved into an apartment to protect us. I really am sorry. I try not to complain, and to be a good sister and a good daughter, but it’s just so hard!”
“We all try,” added Ella.
“Or at least try to try” added Jessie.
After a long pause, Ms. February thought of something. “You know how in books, the main character often has two problems, an external conflict and an internal conflict?” Jessie smiled at this. She had no idea where her mother’s lecture was going, but liked it so far. “Well,” Ms. February continued, “We all have the same external conflict right now, Covid-19, and there’s not much we can do about that, but we can all work to resolve our internal conflicts, starting with identifying them”
Jessie went first, as she had enjoyed all the literature analogies.“Mine are my lousy social skills, my temper, and my unwillingness to live in the real world.”
“Mine are my grumpiness and the fact that I don’t always get along with my sisters very well,” confessed Maya, glancing at Jessie as she said the last bit.
“Mine are my social anxiety, and the fact that I spend more time than I should wishing for a piano,” Lucy added.
“Mine are the fact that I accidentally-on-purpose forget my chores too much, that I can be a bit too hung up on the way things used to be before the pandemic, and,... well… never mind.” Ella added, trailing off at the end, unsure of how to tell her mom about her confusion over Jessie without upsetting her sister.
“You can tell me later,” her mother assured her, as she guessed what her last conflict was, and knew that it would upset Jesssie, even if put nicely. “I know you know that there won't be much money left over for presents this year, what with all of the money we’ve been donating to the Red Cross, but I got you each a present that I think will help you with your internal conflicts. A guide book, if you will. And I’m sure that, if you all try hard to take care of each other, we can all get through this together.”
…
Later that evening, after Lucy and Maya were asleep in their bunk beds, while Jessie was reading more Vanderbeekers, Ella came downstairs to find her mom typing away on her computer.
“Are you emailing Dad?” she asked, peering over her mom’s shoulder.
“Yeah,” replied her mom, sounding tired, “I’m just trying to send him a Merry Christmas. Anything you want me to tell him from you?”
“Just that I love him, which I know you were going to do anyway,” Ella answered.
After a pause which seemed more awkward than comfortable, Ella confessed. “What I was trying to tell you earlier, it’s about Jessie. I just, I just don't know what to feel about her anymore. I love her, of course, but lately it seems like we don’t have anything in common but a house and a last name. Like I probably wouldn't be friends with her if she was just a random person in school. And I can’t blame it on her, because I’m the one who’s changed. The thing about Jessie is, she hasn't. And also,” she added nervously, “Sometimes I feel embarrassed. Embarrassed that she’s my sister. I know it’s horrible of me, and I hate it, but I don’t know how to stop. She’s just so … strange.”
“I know she’s strange. It’s normal to feel embarrassed of your weird family members. You are a teenager, after all. But do keep trying to not be embarrassed of her. Maybe, next time, you can try this. Remember a specific time when you remembered why you love her. Remember why you love her. Hopefully, that will help you see that she’s really not so embarrassing after all. Also, your present should help too,” she finished mysteriously.
“Thanks Mom, I’ll try,” replied Ella, “I'm going to go to bed now.”
“Goodnight honey,” called Ms. February, as Ella headed back upstairs.
“Goodnight Mom,” Ella called back.
Then, when Ella disappeared upstairs, Ms. February went to the closet in the mudroom, and grabbed an Amazon box. She grabbed a roll of duct tape (they were out of scotch tape), and searched futilely for wrapping paper, before at last giving up and tearing pages out of old Cook's Illustrated magazines to serve the same purpose. Then, with these less-than-perfect tools, she neatly wrapped up four perfect presents, four guidebooks disguised as fiction, and placed them under the scraggly Christmas tree.
“Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except pretty much everyone other than Maya,” recited Jessie February dramatically. She was sitting on the couch the wrong way, as was her habit, and reading a book, as was also her habit. Today, that wrong way was upside down, with her head on the seat, and her legs over the back.
“Am too stirring!” argued Maya February, who was sitting on the couch the proper way, texting her middle school friends with a speed that was almost frightening.
“Only if looking at your phone counts as stirring!” refuted Jessie.
“Jessie, sit normally!” reprimanded Ella February, who had just walked in from the kitchen, and was still wearing her coral-colored apron. “It really annoys me when you sit like that.”
“Why shouldn't I sit like this?”Argued Jessie.
“It’s weird!” explained Ella.
“Exactly, that’s why I do it!” Jessie told her.
Ella sighed. It was fruitless to try to get Jessie to do anything she didn't want to, or stop doing anything that she did want to do. After a brief pause she announced, “The cookie dough is rolled out!”
This announcement produced a frenzy of movement. Maya texted a quick GTG to her friends, and hopped up off the couch. Jessie attempted to get out of her odd position, and ended up falling in a most awkward position, with her with her book and some throw pillows tangled up with her. Once she managed to untangle herself, she too jumped up and raced for the kitchen. Two heads popped out of the until now unmentioned blanket fort that was erected in the corner of the living room. One was the head of an American Girl doll, with her glossy black hair braided into an elaborate crown. The other one was very much human, with brown curls bouncing around it. It belonged to Lucy, another one of the February sisters. She too raced to the kitchen, bringing the doll along with her.
Once they were assembled in the kitchen, there was a great struggle to grab cookie cutters, after which, Jessie had grabbed the orangutan and the goat, Maya had the person and the Christmas tree, Ella was holding the snowman and the heart, and Lucy was left with the owl and the candy cane.
“It feels weird to be baking the gingerbread in our own kitchen,” Ella remarked after all had begun cutting.
“Yeah, I wish we could go to Grandma and Grandpa’s like usual,” lamented Lucy. “They have a piano.”
“Plus, it just doesn't feel like Christmas without them,” added Jessie.
“And it especially doesn't feel like Christmas without Daddy,” Lucy finished.
“Plus, we can’t even go shopping properly!” grumped Maya. “It’s not nearly as much fun online.”
“Really, we shouldn't be upset about this,” interrupted Ella. “We're really lucky. So many people have died during this pandemic. If the worst we have to deal with is online shopping, and making gingerbread alone, we’re doing pretty well. But I get it. I’m upset about all this too.”
“Remember how, at the beginning of the pandemic we all thought it would be over in a few weeks?” Jessie reminded them.
“And now it’s been over half a year,” replied Maya. “Half a year with no art lessons.”
“No plays,” added Jessie.
“No parties,” added Ella.
“And no piano!” finished Lucy, looking forlorn, as she often did these days. Aside from her family, piano was her one passion, her one reason to live. Before the pandemic, she had practiced on her neighbor’s piano, or on the piano in the local church. Now, both of those places were out.
After a few minutes of cutting in silence Jesssie felt the need to lighten the mood.
“The Christmas orangutan!” she exclaimed, holding up a gingerbread cookie she had cut in the shape of a primate. Everyone laughed, even Maya, though she rolled her eyes at the same time.
Soon, the conversation turned to lighter topics like the play they were putting on for their mom the next day.
“I added this great new scene!” exclaimed Jessie, who was in charge of writing the play. “Prince Charming brings Flora to the castle, and his mom is being ‘totally embarrassing’(she said this while making air quotes with her fingers), but actually she charms Flora way more than Prince Charming ever does.”
“Please tell me I’m not in this scene,” groaned Maya.
“Ummm… you kind of are,” replied Jessie sheepishly.
“Urg. How am I supposed to memorize all my lines when you keep adding new ones, or changing the one’s I’ve already memorized?” grumped Maya.
“I’m just trying to make it a good play!” argued Jessie, getting angry already.
“You always write good plays,”Lucy remarked, both trying to diffuse her sisters’ argument, and giving a genuine compliment, for to her, nothing could be more beautiful or more funny than the little plays and stories her sister worte.
“You can do it,” added Ella “you’re a good actress! It runs in the family.” She said this last sentence with a grin, alluding as she often did to her starring role in Alice in Wonderland in the fall of her sophomore year.
“Off with his head!” cried Jessie, alluding to her own role as the queen of hearts. Always happy to oblige, Lucy cut the head neatly off one of Maya’s gingerbread men. This act caused all of the sisters to laugh, and Jessie in particular to laugh so hard she literally fell down, bringing the tray of nicely cut gingerbread cookies down with her for a spectacular crash.
Immediately, she stopped laughing “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I’m sososososososososososo sorry! All of our hard work ruined! I’m sosososososososososo sorry! I should never be trusted near items!”
“Jessie, Jessie, it’s ok! I only brought out half of the dough I made!” Ella assured her. In her head she added, I knew you would cause some sort of catastrophe, so I prepared for that..
“Let’s have some music,” suggested Lucy, who was always up for music, and knew that it was often the only way to calm her chaotic family down. Maya, whose phone was nearest, put on Meghan Trainor radio on Pandora. Lucy began singing along to “Walkashame”, and Ella rolled out the new cookie dough. Maya went away to wrap some presents that had only recently arrived in the mail, and Jessie settled down under the kitchen island to read The Vanderbeekers.
While the February sisters are happily and quietly engaged, I, the narrator, will give you, the reader, a nice description so that you can better picture the four sisters. If you do not like descriptions, you can feel free to skip this next bit.
Ella February is the oldest of the sisters, at sixteen. She is average height and very pretty, with straight glossy brown hair that always seems to be perfectly brushed, and the graceful, attention-commanding manner of an actress. Today, she is wearing a pink sweater, cut off high in the odd fashion of the early twenty-first century, a pair of comfy jeans, and her stained coral apron. She is humming along to the songs quietly to herself as she rolls out the dough.
Jessie February is next in line, an overgrown child at fifteen. She is very tall and gangly, and accordingly clumsy. Her light brown hair would be as glossy and pretty as Ella’s if she remembered to brush it. As it is, it is usually pulled back into a tangled ponytail with one of the Slytherin scrunchies her grandmother accidentally bought her, despite the fact that she’s a Griffendor. Today she is wearing a pair of tatty old Christmas pajamas, despite the fact that it is almost four pm. She is sitting cross-legged under the kitchen island, completely unaware of anything going on around her, reading her book with remarkable speed.
The next youngest is Lucy, who is thirteen years old. She has brown hair that falls in perfect curls around her face, except early in the morning when she usually has the best bed-head of anyone in the family, except Jessie of course, but she doesn't count because she builds up her bed-heads over many days. She has a very round childish face, and a smattering of freckles decorates her nose and cheeks. Today she is wearing a long sleeved dress with a print of holly clusters and a pair of red leggings, which give her a very Christmassy look. She is singing along to the pop song playing, as oblivious to the world as Jessie, as her fingers find where the notes on the piano would be on the counter-top.
Maya is the youngest, at twelve, though she often acts like the oldest. Her hair would be as curly as Lucy’s, if she didn’t straighten it every morning before starting her day. Insead, it is as straight and glossy as her oldest sister’s. She would also have a childish face, were it not for the fact that she frequently pilfered make-up from Ella’s stash, and applied it liberally, making her look at least two years older. She was also wearing a cut-off sweater and jeans, for she idolized Ella and wanted to be exactly like her, but her sweater is blue, so as not to copy her. She was wrapping her family’s presents, lip-syncing to the song, and pondering what her presents might be.
All of the Febuarys stayed happily engaged like this for a long while, and as they did, the snow began to fall, and the sun to set, making everything perfectly cozy and Christmassy.
All of this quiet activity was interrupted by a call of “Girls! I’m back from Zoom land!” This produced even more activity than the earlier announcement about the cookie dough. All of the sisters literally dropped whatever they were doing, except Ella, who carefully put down the rolling pin so as not to ruin the rest of the dough. They all jumped up (Jessie banged her head on the bottom of the kitchen island in the process) and ran to hug the woman who had just emerged from the door of the guest room-slash-office-slash-cactus nursery. She was a middle aged woman with a young face and curly brown hair like her daughters. The only things that showed that she was actually Fifty years old were the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes that showed just how smily, kind and excitable she was.
“Sorry about missing Christmas Eve. There’s just so many people who need a therapist right now.”All of her daughters hastened to tell her that there was no need to apologize, but only sensitive Lucy noticed how defeated her mother’s voice sounded. Like she knew she'd never make a dent in the number of people affected mentally by the pandemic. “What have my girls been up to?” she asked.
Jessie was the first to respond, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet with excitement. “I’ve been reading this awesome new book, The Vanderbeekers, which is set a few days before Christmas, and there’s a character named Jessie who is awesome. She loves science, and is just so nerdy and quirky and awesome, and there's this one scene where their landlord is kicking them out, and Jessie says that it’s contradictory to Newton’s third law, because her dad is super helpful to the landlord and Newton's third law says that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and Lany, who’s three says, ‘I want to see a newton,’ and Oliver, the eleven year old, and just as much of a bookworm as I am, finds a picture of Issac Newton in an old encyclopedia, and Lany likes his hair, but Jessie says not to read it because it has too much outdated science.”
The rest of the family watched Jessie’s monologue with varying expressions on their faces. Lucy and Ms. February watched with expressions of adoring amusement, for they loved all of Jessie's quirkiness. Maya watched with an expression of annoyance, for she was getting impatient for her turn to talk. Ella watched with a mixed up expression that captured just how she felt about her sister these days. Half of her wanted to be embarrassed to have such a weird, nerdy, sister, but the other half of her loved Jessie more than anything. They weren't even a full year apart, and had done everything together since they were babies, so that part of Ella hated herself for being embarrassed of her sister.
“I’ve been sketching the snow fall,” Maya interrupted her sister’s thoughts, “and wrapping presents, and texting Jessica, Chloe and Grace about random stuff.”
After a brief pause, Lucy chimed in, “I’ve been working on secret stuff in my secret tent, and getting Carole, Alicia, Vanessa, and Billy dressed up for Christmas.”
Carole, Alicia, Vanessa, and Billy were Lucy's rescued dolls. She had found them at yard sales, in second hand stores, and, on one memorable occasion, under a rack of clothes in the Gap, cleaned them up, and gave them a new home in a large cardboard box that used to contain the parts to build an Ikea bed. They were all named after famous singer-songwriters who played the piano. Even though she was thirteen, and, by most people’s standards, much too old for dolls, Lucy made sure that they didn't feel neglected by dressing them up for special occasions, serving them play food on their little cardboard table, and occasionally taking them out for walks early in the morning, when nobody was around to tell her that she was too old for dolls.
“I made gingerbread cookies,” Ella added, “and I zoomed with Sophie for a while. We did stage makeup on ourselves for different famous characters.”
After a longer pause, this time, Maya burst out, “It’s so frustrating! We’re alone on Christmas Eve, just doing random stuff around the house. We don’t even have Daddy for Christmas! And all the vegetables we have now are gross old ones from the quickshop!” she added, before realizing that that last one was really a silly complaint.
“I’m sorry,” Maya apoligised a moment after. “I know we’re lucky to all be healthy, and to have such a big house and yard to be isolated in. And I know that Daddy’s a hero, and saving lives, and that he moved into an apartment to protect us. I really am sorry. I try not to complain, and to be a good sister and a good daughter, but it’s just so hard!”
“We all try,” added Ella.
“Or at least try to try” added Jessie.
After a long pause, Ms. February thought of something. “You know how in books, the main character often has two problems, an external conflict and an internal conflict?” Jessie smiled at this. She had no idea where her mother’s lecture was going, but liked it so far. “Well,” Ms. February continued, “We all have the same external conflict right now, Covid-19, and there’s not much we can do about that, but we can all work to resolve our internal conflicts, starting with identifying them”
Jessie went first, as she had enjoyed all the literature analogies.“Mine are my lousy social skills, my temper, and my unwillingness to live in the real world.”
“Mine are my grumpiness and the fact that I don’t always get along with my sisters very well,” confessed Maya, glancing at Jessie as she said the last bit.
“Mine are my social anxiety, and the fact that I spend more time than I should wishing for a piano,” Lucy added.
“Mine are the fact that I accidentally-on-purpose forget my chores too much, that I can be a bit too hung up on the way things used to be before the pandemic, and,... well… never mind.” Ella added, trailing off at the end, unsure of how to tell her mom about her confusion over Jessie without upsetting her sister.
“You can tell me later,” her mother assured her, as she guessed what her last conflict was, and knew that it would upset Jesssie, even if put nicely. “I know you know that there won't be much money left over for presents this year, what with all of the money we’ve been donating to the Red Cross, but I got you each a present that I think will help you with your internal conflicts. A guide book, if you will. And I’m sure that, if you all try hard to take care of each other, we can all get through this together.”
…
Later that evening, after Lucy and Maya were asleep in their bunk beds, while Jessie was reading more Vanderbeekers, Ella came downstairs to find her mom typing away on her computer.
“Are you emailing Dad?” she asked, peering over her mom’s shoulder.
“Yeah,” replied her mom, sounding tired, “I’m just trying to send him a Merry Christmas. Anything you want me to tell him from you?”
“Just that I love him, which I know you were going to do anyway,” Ella answered.
After a pause which seemed more awkward than comfortable, Ella confessed. “What I was trying to tell you earlier, it’s about Jessie. I just, I just don't know what to feel about her anymore. I love her, of course, but lately it seems like we don’t have anything in common but a house and a last name. Like I probably wouldn't be friends with her if she was just a random person in school. And I can’t blame it on her, because I’m the one who’s changed. The thing about Jessie is, she hasn't. And also,” she added nervously, “Sometimes I feel embarrassed. Embarrassed that she’s my sister. I know it’s horrible of me, and I hate it, but I don’t know how to stop. She’s just so … strange.”
“I know she’s strange. It’s normal to feel embarrassed of your weird family members. You are a teenager, after all. But do keep trying to not be embarrassed of her. Maybe, next time, you can try this. Remember a specific time when you remembered why you love her. Remember why you love her. Hopefully, that will help you see that she’s really not so embarrassing after all. Also, your present should help too,” she finished mysteriously.
“Thanks Mom, I’ll try,” replied Ella, “I'm going to go to bed now.”
“Goodnight honey,” called Ms. February, as Ella headed back upstairs.
“Goodnight Mom,” Ella called back.
Then, when Ella disappeared upstairs, Ms. February went to the closet in the mudroom, and grabbed an Amazon box. She grabbed a roll of duct tape (they were out of scotch tape), and searched futilely for wrapping paper, before at last giving up and tearing pages out of old Cook's Illustrated magazines to serve the same purpose. Then, with these less-than-perfect tools, she neatly wrapped up four perfect presents, four guidebooks disguised as fiction, and placed them under the scraggly Christmas tree.
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