I feel useless
Unproductive
No one needs me right now
Good
I have nothing to do
B o r e d o m.
I can't stop thinking about you
I assign myself tasks
Keeping me occupied
Is like babysitting myself.
I complete lots of busywork,
As if I am in school.
I create a schedule for myself
Itineraries
Anything that has any vague connection to you
I like thinking about you
Doing things related to you
Even if you'll never see half of them
I'm so bored
And so busywork it is
I saw a photo of our band from last year
our Wind Ensemble
the intern we all fell in love with
the conductor we adore
everyone was together
and I just...
gah.
I wanted to yell STAY
Sack race
thirteenth birthday party
start of seventh grade.
My two BFFs since kindergarten,
the one that slipped in from fourth grade,
the two I met in fifth -
then of course my party girlfriends
How lucky am I?
To feel loved?
In a household and a family and a school that makes me feel not worth it
not good enough
and I found someone outside of it all who loves me?
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