I feel useless
Unproductive
No one needs me right now
Good
I have nothing to do
B o r e d o m.
I can't stop thinking about you
I assign myself tasks
Keeping me occupied
Is like babysitting myself.
I complete lots of busywork,
As if I am in school.
I create a schedule for myself
Itineraries
Anything that has any vague connection to you
I like thinking about you
Doing things related to you
Even if you'll never see half of them
I'm so bored
And so busywork it is
Long day
past where morning sun shines and into the dark huskiness of night
fluorescent lights beating down
then flickering off
a fanfare
a reflection
a redemption
Some things are just instinct
like when I just ran to you
as soon as I saw you
and hugged you for -
oh yeah -
the first time
very very platonic of course
you're my big brother.
Your solo is like sun shining through the clouds in my heart
it's like a platonic ballad
it's like you are playing
through first loves
and forbidden loves
and grass in the summer
and crunchy chips
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