camouflage

i hear

your words, your insults, your mocking

i heard it when you called me stupid, special

as if i had no ears

i see 

how you look at me, how you judge me

you don't pay attention in class, 

yet you ask me for answers as if it's no big deal

i feel

your glares and hurtful looks, brushing against my face like a knife

the way you touch my arm and call me "honey" sarcastically.

are you all just pretending?

i notice

the way you treat me, as if i am a specimen,

but i am literally no different from you.

i may have better friends, or maybe better outlooks on life

but i just wish i could live without being judged.

what makes you feel like you have the sudden authority, the right to judge me? to mock me? 

and what makes you think it hurts?

because the words that cut like knives? they bounce right off.

I am immune to your cruel actions.

I plainly don't care.

I live a life beyond all your idiotic moments,

And I choose to live it without letting you interfere.

I act like you all the time, I pretend to be popular to gain your praise, your acceptance,

But all I can see is the lie you live,

You and your fake feelings and fake friends.

I blend in to your grays and whites,

Only to see your true colors.

i blend in, i see, i feel, i hear, i choose not to be like you.