Chapter 19: Change

I have this "thing" about finishing chapters that sort of changes the experience of reading for me. I don't like to quit in the middle, or after the first page, even if it's a book I hate. I have to finish it. After I finish it, then fine--I go fold laundry, I get back to my schoolwork, I settle back in. I don't think that that's a particularly unusual experience--I'm sure there are plenty of people out there, just like me, who can't function until they see the page break. Eight billion is a big number, an enormous amount--surely one out of all of them does the same thing? And, sure, the people I pay attention to--my dad, my grandparents, people in movies and TV--put the book down on a whim, sometimes not even bothering to mark it, bending the spine until the paper tears. But that's alright. I have learned very quickly how vast the world truly is, and how difficult her inhabitants can be to decode. 

My obsession with chapters also extends to people. I wish it didn't--I wish I could say I closed the book and let it go and forgot everyone and who they were to me. I think it would help a lot, letting it go, loosening my grip. But these things are their own novels and series, trilogies and prequels--I often think of them for months or years; on the toilet, in the car, all the time. 

My eyes are heavy, and The House of the Seven Gables is a hefty book. There's still twelve pages left in chapter eight. 

But it's late, and I'm tired, and the book can wait. 

It'll be 2026 soon. 

Everyone else can wait, too.