Conflicting

Conflicting feelings in my brain

In my heart

As I lay awake,

Not entirely sane.

Conflicting thoughts, all knotted up.

How do I untangle,

Fix what I've lost?

How do I make sense of it?

How do I do it?

Why do I feel so much,

So full like I can't get through it?

My heart is in molasses,

My head up in the starry sky,

But my body's rooted firmly to the ground on which I lie.

I say so many things,

Not all of them true,

Exaggerations, declarations,

As all of us do.

I feel hope. 

I feel love.

I feel power and calm.

I feel beauty.

I feel pain.

I feel everything so strongly.

It all conflicts in the center of me.

My heart and my head

Won't let me be.

What is my future?

What is my past?

Should I right my wrongs, or will

They get tired of that?

I make so many mistakes.

Of course, I am human.

But who am I, really?

What is my truth?

I ask myself these questions,

Lying in bed,

Unsure, scared, and anxious

Of what lies ahead.