Conflicting

Conflicting feelings, in my brain

In my heart

As I lay awake

Not entirely sane.

Conflicting thoughts, all knotted up

How do I untangle

Fix what I've lost?

How do I make sense of it?

How do I do it?

Why do I feel so much

So full like I can't get through it?

My heart is in molasses

My head up in the starry sky

But my body's rooted firmly to the ground on which I lie.

I say so many things

Not all of them true

Exaggerations, declarations

As all of us do.

I feel hope 

I feel love

I feel power and calm

I feel beauty

I feel pain

I feel everything so strong.

It all conflicts in the center of me

My heart and my head

Won't let me be.

What is my future?

What is my past?

Should I right my wrongs, or will

They get tired of that?

I make so many mistakes

Of course, I am human

But who am I really?

What is my truth?

I ask myself these questions

Lying in bed

Unsure, scared, and anxious

Of what lies ahead.