Cornered
I put my hands up
Like you taught me
Only now
You're the one attacking
"Helping" because
You "just want me to feel better"
And I braced for impact
The weight of you and the hard floor
And I bit the dropper
And the glass shattered under my teeth
And I spat the shards out onto the floor
And you cursed.
What?
I said I wouldn't take it
Did you think I was kidding?
Noise
Warming up
Keys
Fingerings
Chatter
Laughter
The chorale
Stopping
Starting
"Again"
"I know you can do better than that"
Serious but
You also love it
I'm distracted.
Why did I let myself become so reliant
Dependent
So stupid
Ugh I'm so mad.
So mad.
I let myself become distracted by silly things I could want
I let myself want them
Beauty is
Not hiding being a thick mask
A thick layer that is not you.
Beauty is
Not wanting to be someone's doll
Someone's plaything
We are not here for decoration.
Beauty is knowing what you want
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