The Detective

                                                  The Detective

Mr. Detective looked suspiciously around the dark, musty stables, kicking up dust and scents of horse poop with his steps, inspecting all of us… the “suspects”.

He drew a breath from his pipe, then choked on it, doubling over and dropping his lantern on the hay, and our only light, casting monstrous shadows on the walls while he became as purple as an eggplant. I, rolling my eyes, went over for him to wave me away.

After a moment of coughing, he ‘regained’ his composure.

He now begins in his “Sinister” voice, “The victim, Arthur A. Arnold, was found by a miss… Sally Baker. Miss, you are a seamstress for Mr. Arnold, correct?” She bobbed her head earnestly, her short pony bouncing up and down. “However, you make clothes… Why would you be in the stable?”

“You see, Mr. Detective—” “And you, Stableboy, where were you?” While the lantern bobbed, the stableboy’s handsome features rippled, his dark hair coming in and out of the shadows. “You see, sir—” “That’s enough from you!” Our Mr. Detective sauntered over to the body, tapped his foot on the creaky floorboard adjacent to Art, while at the same time snapping his fingers.“He is dead!” ‘’Now… how did he die…’’ 

The seamstress, exasperated, exclaimed timidly 

“There is a sword i—” 

He cut her off, “I will tell you if I need you.” He went to the moist dirt outside after rain and sniffed it. “Two pairs of footprints… This is a murder!” 

“Arnold’s and a men’s size nine! And spearmint gum!” 

An annoying pause, “There’s only one size nine who can afford gum in this place!”. 

He marched over to the royal guard. “It was you!” 

An annoyed, tired voice came over the speaker box in the fake room, “You’re wrong, it was a “bandit in the night”, dumbo. “Your time’s up, I gotta get to this 8 year old’s birthday party.” Begrudgingly, he shuffled out while the party kids raced in, touching everything and talking to us “suspects”. Then, I watch him quietly get in his “Inspection is a scam” Ford Focus and drive away.