I am floating.
Not anchored in my body.
I cannot focus.
I cannot think.
They do not see how distant I am.
We're supposed to be watching a video, but I can't.
My eyes don't see.
My ears don't hear.
My brain won't think.
It's all so fuzzy.
I cannot escape.
I am floating.
Not anchored in my body.
I am disassociating.
I am nowhere.
And yet, I am everywhere.
Scattered in a million pieces.
They were so awful to me,
And yet
They seemed to care.
They manipulated,
Twisted,
Hurt,
And destroyed me.
And yet I can't
Seem to let them go.
Even knowing
How badly they could
I'm scared.
I can't believe we're here
Again.
I can't believe this is reality
Again.
Four years
They say.
It's only four years.
But it's four years
Of a living hell for me.
They laugh
The sorrow I know
Is like no other.
It is too deep
Too raw
Too real.
And as I stand here
Within its everlasting clutches
I find little bursts of hope.
And these little burst of light
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