Drowning, Dreaming, Demanding

It feels like drowning in expectations while trying to convince the world I can swim. 

I’m always performing.  

The pressure is suffocating. 

 Everyone tells me to enjoy my youth, but how? 

Every decision feels like it will make or break my future.

Stories of violence arise, another reminder that growing up means inheriting a mess I didn’t make. 

News headlines tell me the world is falling apart. 

College emails remind me I’m not doing enough,  

And yet, we’re told to stay positive, to dream big, to believe in a future when the present feels like it’s crumbling beneath our feet.

 We are drowning in deadlines, decisions, and the never-ending feeling that time is running out. 

That I am running out.

But in the smallest moments I do find joy. A friend laughing so hard they can’t breathe. My sister smiling with glee. 

These moments remind me I’m me, even without the pressure of my world. 

What keeps me up at night? 

The fear that no matter how hard I try, it will never be enough.

I will never be enough,

Enough for those careers, colleges, people and my future, 

That I will break under the weight of expectations before I even get the chance to live. 

I carry the hopes of generations before me, but I’m so tired.

I’m so very tired.

Trying to fix what’s broken, trying to believe in a future worth fighting for, but it’s hard to dream when you're running on empty.

I’m not lazy. 

I’m not ungrateful.

I know I live a privileged life.

 I’m not a "kid on my phone all the time." 

I am scared. 

I am overwhelmed. 

But I’m trying. 

We need more than just motivational speeches — we need real change. We need space to breathe, to fail, to exist without feeling like we have to prove our worth every second.

More than anything, we need hope. Because if we lose that, what else do we have?