Failure

Failure.

It's not a familiar word to me

Because I am never failing unless I know

I haven't tried hard enough

Been my best

But that was failure.

Not by me,

By them,

I know I can't control it

And I should stop trying

But I want to succeed

And they're dragging me down with them

When I should be flying.

It's frustrating and -

Disappointing

I'm disappointed.

I didn't have much hope

But it was dashed today

And I've got a year left of it.

Failure

Is unacceptable.

Some people don't understand that but

I believe

If you're doing it

You work as hard as you can 

Even if you don't love it.

It's a sign of respect

To people like me who do.

And...

I guess not.

Okay.

Well that's why I auditioned

Because I thought this would happen

And it's my... once a week escape.

One seventh brilliant challenge

Five sevenths slow torture.

Perfection

Is supposedly not achievable

Does that mean we shouldn't try?

I hadn't felt perfect until I got on that stage

With people I barely knew

Who played like magic was something we had in our fingertips.

I hadn't felt failure until I entered this year

And a room I used to love

Becomes a room I wish would challenge me I'm

Growing

Outgrowing

This...