free

 they say I used to be so free,
 as if I set that freedom down
 somewhere careless
 and forgot to pick it back up.

 they remember a child
 who sang without thinking,
 who laughed before checking the room,
 who didn’t know enough
 to be afraid of being wrong.

 they say it like a compliment,
 but it feels like a reminder
 of everything I cannot return to.

 i miss her too,
 the girl who didn’t measure herself,
 who didn’t carry questions
 like stones in her pockets.
 she moved through days
 without the weight of watching eyes
 or the echo of expectations.

 but growing means knowing,
 and knowing changes you.
 you learn how people listen,
 how people judge,
 how silence forms around you
 before you even speak.

 they tell me to be that girl again,
 but she lived in a world
 that fit her smallness.
 i live in one that asks
 for explanation and caution
 and the careful folding of my own edges.

 freedom did not leave me.
 it changed shape.
 it waits somewhere ahead,
 not behind,
 something I will build
 when I am allowed
 to take up space.