I dreamt
it was next year
everyone I loved was there
tall chairs
light work
not reality
everyone
perfect
I woke up and I felt his love
butterfly wings against my cheek
the warmth of being near
wanting to be near
it felt like a fairytale
I woke up
and it can't be real
it's not.
Is that future
or fantasy?
Chairs
straightbacked for posture perfection
in neat rows
arranged up each step of the staggered blue-carpeted levels
sneakers and boots rooted
to the tiled floor
gray speckled white
Everyone's playing Christmas music
Christmas movies
break is in two weeks
we're already preparing our favorite meals.
And I'm lost.
Not good lost,
not lost in the holiday cheer -
I'm just depressed.
I've never understood the phrase
hopelessly in love.
It's in all the books,
it's on TV.
Characters meet their special someone and bam
they're free falling
but they have their safety nets
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