The Girl Inside

It’s only been a few days and sadness feels so far away

This feeling, it isn’t salvation

The girl who used to scream for others pains is shut out

She fights to be free, to make me suffer for something I don’t feel nor control

At least that’s how it used to be

Now I feel numb, whatever other people are going through is no longer my issue nor burden

It’s all so light, but I don’t feel like me

I don’t feel like me without the pain, where did you go?

Where is the girl who’d cry at night for what others are going through?

The one who would beat herself up because another hurts?

Why did she leave me?

Do I want her back?

Would anyone love me without her?

What happens when she comes back?

Why can’t I decide?

The questions that haunt my dreams, yet I couldn’t care less

I don’t care if I bring him pain, he’ll get over it

I don’t care if she’s hurting, she should have listened

Was that girl an angel or a demon?

Not only did they take away the girl, they gave me something

A monster, only I can feel

It comes when this world summons it

I run, I defend myself, and I drug it away

I’m not crazy, it’s there!

But it isn’t, and it’ll never get to me

I can breathe again, but my limbs can’t hold me up

Is this worse or better than who I used to be?

I guess we’ll see 

For now, I’m just sorry