Glad and Mad

For a long time I thought I was grateful for the light
Shining, pulling me out of weak moments
Then I thought I appreciated the dark
Aha! I am a poet, I have attained deeper understanding
I no longer recoil from the dark, I thank it
For all it has taught me
But neither of those things are truly true
I am thankful, I guess, for neither
I am not thankful for the endless hours of nightmares, the socializing with snakes, the tiny jabs and stabs
But I am glad I learned something
Is it possible to be glad and mad you went through something awful?
I don't know if you are supposed to be
But I am