Gotten Good At Pretending

I've gotten pretty good

At pretending

Some nights

I fall asleep

And wake up with 

Red puffy eyes

But I go to school

With a smile on my face

And hope no one notices

That a bit of light

Has left

My red rimmed eyes

I've gotten pretty good at faking

Some mornings

I'll stare in the mirror

And wish I looked different

Little taller

Stronger

But I get dressed

And head to school

Hoping no one notices

The way I stare

A little longer

In my reflection in the window

I've gotten good at lying

Some days at school

I can't breathe

Or think

I'll sit in the bathroom

As it feels like I'm dying

And then I go back to class

And laugh

When someone asks why

I look a little pale

I've gotten good at hiding

Some days

I'll get a test grade

And stare at the paper

Thinking about

How I could've done so much better

How I was so dumb

But when someone says

The test wasn't that hard

I nod and then turn away

So they don't see my face

I've gotten good at pretending

Maybe too good

No one sees through

My little facade

I don't want sympathy

I don't want pity

Because I know

That I don't have it that bad

And that I can overreact

So I guess

I had to get good at pretending