Guilty Pleasures

Guilty pleasures.

I know they are.

I know I shouldn't.

I know all this.

Do I listen?

No.

Have I ever listened?

No.

Checking the doc.

Not active anymore.

Hadn't been

Til I had to beg you

And now it's still not.

Writing my fanfics.

Most of them completely wrong

But they help me think through things, right?

Or do they just make me crazy?

Sneaking onto my email.

Almost an obsession.

Rarely any unread messages

And I only really care

If they're from him.

Ignoring schoolwork.

Who cares anyway?

I don't need to understand math.

I don't plan to be a carpenter.

"But a musician has to do a ton of math..."

Whatever.

I don't want to.

I keep ignoring it.

Guilty pleasures -

All my problems,

But ways of coping.

I shouldn't

But I do.

QueenBee

VT

13 years old

More by QueenBee

  • "I don't care"

    "I don't care," I say.

    Don't care.

    Don't.

    Do not.

    Don't want to.

    Can't.

    Scared to.

    You look at me.

    Ask, "What about your friends?"

    Yes, what about them, self?

  • I was

    I was...what was I?

    I was happy.

    I was free.

    I had such a rush of a year

    That I forgot...everything else.

    Full steam ahead

    Days blurring

    Like a train.

    Plowing through.

    I warned myself.

  • Did I really?

    You said

    I seemed relaxed.

    Not tense,

    Like I feel,

    Constantly.

    Not curled up into a tight little ball

    Against the world.

    You said 

    I seemed loose.

    I don't feel loose