hallucination buddy

on some nights
the world feels
broken
like the shattered pieces of porcelain
scattered
across the table
the hate
that pours from people's pores
like the anger in your eyes
what have i decimated now?
my sanity is just as faulted as yours
touch doesn't make it better
nor does the pain i feel when your words cut me
yet
i giggle at the harm
as you smile sickly sweet
soaks into me
who are you?
i dont know
but i'd rather you violate the feelings
you said dont exist
than have you love me the way you said
you would
the raindrops that fall down the window
the way you caressed my face
fingers long and cold
i hate you
but you like the way i fight
flounder for the breath you steal
the sound of glass breaking
like the screams that border on my lips
echos
you leave within my soul
and scars you have implanted inside my head
lash back but you
you are mine
and dont you know
how much i would love to make you feel
the pain
while i grin over you
the way you have always grinned back at my tears
how you never fail
to bring an unwell
demented laugh
to my wounded soul
but i cant
as you push me down harder
i cant
as you whisper your lies in my ear
i cant
as you take the breath that was mine
and twist it around
i cant
and you know it.