Happy birthday to me

I'm so old

I know I'm not really but

It feels like it.

Like I'm a teenager

For real this time

Like I'm normal

And my parents trust me

And I can text?

And I'm normal

But it doesn't feel so great

Okay?

Maybe I just want to be a boring kid again

Maybe I don't want responsibility and you're-getting-older

And crushes become things

And I'm a teenager

And I can be cool

I could call and text at night

Stay up late with gossip and secrets

(and never sleep 

but who cares?)

I could date

(and make a trillion mistakes and end up with haters not lovers

but weren't the kisses worth it?)

I could drive soon

(and crash a million times over and never learn my lesson

but wouldn't the rush be great?)

I could go to high school make friends be everyone's favorite

(and become a social reject after one mistake

but didn't I just love talking behind their backs?)

I could... I don't know

I could be me, maybe?

Is that good enough?

Is me a teen

And ready to handle it?

Is me someone I believe in?

Currently yes.

Confidence

We talk about confidence

Mine is strung up with AJR songs in my head

And good shots on the field with a stick I don't understand

And people laughing at my jokes

And not thinking about what I say

And getting great grades and finishing my homework

My confidence

Is good I guess

I can take on a guy without hesitation

And act all smart superior

I'm a good pretender.

Happy birthday to me

I'm not a teenager

I'm a kid

Treat me as such