I am
burning
this is not unusual
for me, the radiator
but this isn't
I'm freezing it's cold outside
friends grab me for warmth because
I'm a human sun
sunny smiles
sunny skin
sunny warmth
this time it's
I don't feel so good
sinking feeling
sick
probably just from the shot
but I still
hate it
I'm freezing and my skin is burning
and I'm shaking
my room is a sauna I'm
covered in blankets
I feel
weak
radiation
is a disease
I stayed up until midnight with my brother
in that horrible hotel room in North Carolina.
(I say horrible because I hate going down south
hate the Trump bobblehead in my nonny and poppy's house
Swallow your tears.
No crying in public.
Why are you surprised?
This has been happening since you were two.
He’s the angel
You’re not.
I saw a photo of our band from last year
our Wind Ensemble
the intern we all fell in love with
the conductor we adore
everyone was together
and I just...
gah.
I wanted to yell STAY
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