Help Me

Many have lost the fight 
Each man and woman, 
And the girls and boys,
They’re like toys 
To people who hurt and fight and kill us. 
But we endure with our heads down because we’re still us. 

We’re like sitting ducks in a world full of mountains. 
We climb and fall and die for what？ 
Just to slide back down the side, 

To adversity, 
To have to explain our loyalty 
To this country?

And I don’t know what I’m doing. 
I’m out of my mind my thoughts are oozing
Out of my brain, I’m going crazy, 
And everything I feel is hazy.

Like the receptors aren’t there anymore 
And the signals they still seem to ignore 
That fire in my mind 
And the work, still on the grind 
But all the work that we do
It’s tossed away like a watermelon rind 

I’m pacing 
All the bloodshed and tears are effacing 
Just like invisible ink
But when you speak out you sink

Down, down to the ground 
To the back of the round 
You start over, groveling back,
Your blood, sweat, and tears, don’t matter
Because they will always go black 

So “dulce et decorum est pro patria mori”
My ancestors died for this country
For my family, for me 

So I could have a good life 
Full of friends not of knives 
To the heart and to the soul 
To scoop them up and put them in a bowl
All those broken dreams
You know it’s broken when all you can do is scream 

And what does it matter? 
We’re all going to die 
So what’s the point of having friends, having allies

For what? To speak for you 
When you have nothing to say 
To breathe for you when
You don’t have an airway 

We’re going to die
We all know it 
Yet some are consumed in their lives 

They don’t notice it. 
We’re attached to our screens, to ourselves 
We’re in a room divided by shelves 
It will dissipate us in a matter of seconds 
Yet we still expect all our relationships to be reckoned 

I want to see my former being 
And tell her what to expect of me 
And give her advice 
To just be, stop bleeding 

Out and out with information 
Puzzled with confirmation 
Of a new idea, a history down the drain
Traditions falling like rain 

Clouded with judgment 
I cannot impair 
It’ll drive me to darkness 
To suffering and despair 

I want to love my own self 
Not just leave it to die on a shelf 
But I can’t look at it without the bad qualities 
Darkened with high standards and policies 

But people like me, never fully live, they simply exist, 
But how can you do that when everything’s a twist? 

Everything that you make 
Every step that you take 
Will always lead you in a circle 
On your back like a turtle 
Trying your hardest to get back up 
But even if you scream your loudest 
You’ll always be stuck 

There, in the same spot 
Never moving, painful like a blood clot 
Cells made of agony and heartbreak 
But people who inflict this won’t stop for God’s sake 

I want them to stop, but will they? 
And even if they agree it’s clear child’s play 
They’ll manipulate you 
To the best that they can do 

Make you sin, make you hate 
yourself and others, they won’t give you a break 
From the suffering, they’ve caused 
From the blood, you’ve leaked
Since they snatched you in their jaws 

Their sharp teeth, entrenched in your gut 
Smashing your soul as if it’s a little pine nut 
Cutting you up until you die 
Choking you down so you don’t have a chance to fly 

To spread out your wings 
And do incredible things 
They’ll play you like strings 
They take away everything 

I want to grow in this world
To show I have something to prove 
in this universe that is swirled 
I need to mature to all that I can be

So help me 

Please help me.