For Her, I Stay

A ghost of a father.
An angry mother.
A forbidden best friend.
A suppressed love—
A suppressed identity.

Oh, how strange it is to feel alone,
while surrounded by people.

No friends.
Bitter family.
Nearly fifteen.
Only four more years...
is what I tell myself.

I bleed to feel something.
Scars line my right hip.

I long for love.
To be held.
I miss her...

The one who was always there.

The one who,

no matter how forbidden,

I will love infinitely.

The memory of her green eyes—

keeps me breathing,

convinces me to live just a little bit longer,

until I can finally be free

of those who have given me nothing.

I may bleed despite our promise.

But I am still breathing.

I will be strong for her.

Reinforce the creaking floodgates behind my eyes,

hide the pain when my mother curses her.

I will be strong for her.

No matter how much it breaks me.