How to take care of a sick father

How to take care of a father
At some point your father will get 
Sick
And you will have to take care of him because your parents are divorced 
And even though you can only cook frozen pizza and edamae and know
Next to nothing about how to call in a perscription at the pharmacy
And how to shovel the driveway and clean the heater's filter
You will offer to do it
Because you
Are a Good Daughter
Here is what you need to know
1. Fathers have a harder time swallowing their pride
Compared to mothers
Maybe their adams apples bob in the way 
Like buouys on the river dignity
(It's a long
Wide
River)
He will not ask for help making the coleslaw or washing the dishes or doing the laundry
Your job is to Notice
2. Fathers sleep more than the average chinchilla
When sick
The chinchilla sleeps 12 hours a day and moves around very little
Your father and a chinchilla may share many personality traits in the next few days
3. Sports radio will be on a lot more than usual
If you turn your radio on it will be
At 101.3 Fm
(Sports Radio - The Game with Collin Cowherd)
It will not be enjoyable
You will learn interesting tidbits of information
Like Chris Carson is being traded to the seattle seahawks
Wow
4. They will not ask for hugs
 Hugs are unexpected surprises
Hugs are neccesary
Don't burst his stiches or touch where his neck is itchy or step on his sprained ankle
But make sure hugs are part of the package deal