hungry

I sit in the corner, cradling a book, 

or laptop, or phone, or nothing at all,

I sit in the corner listening to the hum of chatter,

I focus on different voices,

 listening in on someone else’s world.

A planet that’s so alien to me, it’s uninhabitable.

The light laughter, wide smiles,

it makes something dark grow in my heart,

but it heals something cracked as well.

My stomach churns, I’m hungry, I’m starved,

I want that so bad, it makes my body burn.

I’ve been hungry for a long time,

trying to do everything I can to ignore it.

My hunger is eating me from the inside out,

Eventually there will be nothing left.

I shove it down, it won’t help me,

bottle it up and throw away the key,

I try to focus on the thing in front of me,

It doesn’t help,

I’ll keep pretending it does.