I don't

Some days I look through my folder

Flip through my books

Scroll through PDFs

And I just don't want to

Just don't feel like it

Just not in the mood

And suddenly I am terrified

Terrified

Sometimes I think

Of what my life would be without this

Without the conductor who changed my life

Without my duet partner who taught me how to perform

Without my instrument

Without the music

I should be being

A teenager

Walking around

Biking the village with friends

Creemees

Candy

Joking

Laughing

Teasing

Farmers markets

Confessions

Crushes

Running around