I want to cry

I want to cry.

I want to cry

But I cannot.

Graduation

Graduation

They're leaving

It's finally happening and how will I survive

What if this what if that

Stress

Schoolwork

Assignments

Pressure

Drama

And the good things too

Friendship

Romance

Fun

Laughter.

Piling on top of me.

I want to cry

But I cannot

Because it feels better not to.

I tried writing it out.

It turned to anger.

I tried sitting there

Thinking it through.

It shifted to

Helplessness.

I picked up

My partner in crime

My life

My love

My instrument

I played

I played like my heart was breaking

I played like I was breaking

I played softly and loudly

I crescendoed to a ridiculous point

I articulated the mess out of it -

Music

Doesn't take all my worries away

But it is a freedom.

My mind can fixate on all the little things,

The how can I play this better?

So I don't have to be so

Completely overworked

Overwhelmed

Everything

All the time.

I played

My heart out

I played

The pain out

Until I was left back with

Myself.