If I called you

If I called you

Right now

In the middle of the night

If I called you in tears

And said I don't know

I don't know how to do this anymore

Maybe I never did

One second I'm fine

The next

The entire universe is crushing me

Destroying me

If I called you

And said the words I never say

If I called you and said I need help

I know I didn't love you

I know I said I did

I know now how it felt

How it felt to be left by the person you loved

Unconditionally

More than anything

And I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry I did that to you

And I'm so sorry I didn't know but I pretended I did

If I called you and said

I don't know what's happening

To me but

What if I'm not worth it

Then what happens

Would you still pretend you didn't care?