If I called you

If I called you

Right now

In the middle of the night

If I called you in tears

And said I don't know

I don't know how to do this anymore

Maybe I never did

One second I'm fine

The next

The entire universe is crushing me

Destroying me

If I called you

And said the words I never say

If I called you and said I need help

I know I didn't love you

I know I said I did

I know now how it felt

How it felt to be left by the person you loved

Unconditionally

More than anything

And I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry I did that to you

And I'm so sorry I didn't know but I pretended I did

If I called you and said

I don't know what's happening

To me but

What if I'm not worth it

Then what happens

Would you still pretend you didn't care?

QueenBee

VT

13 years old

More by QueenBee

  • Summer camp

    Nostalgia

    I love this place

    This camp

    Third year

    With my cousin best friend

    And...it feels like school

    There are people from school

    Which

    Even if I like them

    Makes me tense up

  • I dreamt that

    I

    t o r e

    all the flowers down and

    p u n c h e d

    the waves until they 

    s h a t t e r e d

    like icy glass and I

    c h a s e d

    the grassy road till its end

    s t o m p i n g

  • Ticket

    "Having a career isn't all that there is in life."

    You think I don't know that?

    I know it isn't.

    But I also know

    That this is my ticket into the real world

    And I'm not going to blow it

    For silly parties