I'm crying at night

I said something I regret,
and now you won't meet my eyes
you won't look to see me smile 
when someone else makes me laugh 
and so I retreat into my mind
to think 
of how to say sorry 
but even when I do 
you don't listen 
your too stuck in your pain to hear it in mine 
and so we continue like this for some time
me reaching out
and you pushing me away
I try to make you laugh 
but you ignore me all day

so at night I'm crying
sobbing and weeping
forgetting to breathe 
gasping and seeing 
now way out 
no light in the dark

at night I'm crying 
cause I can't give you up
I can't find a way to tell you I'm done
I'm done with the lonely 
done with tears 
done with the wishing
that you were here

I'm sick of pretending 
that you love me
sick letting you hurt me
sick of your face and
sick of your hate 
I'm sick of how I can't walk away

because I'm still hoping 
for the day 
you'll look at me and say
you love me 
you see me 
you want me 
you need me 

but you don't 
and you wont
I know that now
so I'm letting you go

I'm crying at night 
cause you need to move on
I'm crying at night 
cause I'm excepting your gone
I'm crying at night cause I wanted you
but I'm moving on even as i do
I'm crying 
but smiling
and slowly realizing
I'll be fine, 
you will to
and we'll drift apart as people do 
but please know
part of me will always remain with you.