insubstantial

a filament of silver breath stretches beneath my feet
thin as a whispered promise and just as easy to lose
keep going you must not look down
but what if down is the only truth and up is the illusion i cling to
the air hums with consequence
or maybe it is only silence pretending to matter
each step a delicate negotiation with gravity and doubt
you are steady you are certain you are in control
am i or am i only rehearsing control for an audience that does not exist
to lean too far is to invite the abyss to speak my name
what if it already has and i have simply forgotten how to listen
below me the world dissolves into blurred what ifs
nothing is dissolving you are imagining fractures where there are none
shadows reach upward like unasked questions
or they are not shadows at all but truths i refuse to name
i become a creature of balance and hesitation
you are strong you are unwavering
then why do i feel like i am unraveling thread by thread
my heartbeat a metronome dictating courage
or counting down to something i cannot escape
the line quivers not from wind but from thought
then stop thinking and you will not fall
but if i stop thinking do i still exist on this line at all
yet forward is the only language i remember
forward toward what and who decided there was a destination
so i glide in fragile defiance
you are not gliding you are barely holding on
a silhouette poised between falling and becoming
or between dreaming and waking unable to tell the difference
and somewhere in the endless in between
i ask if the line was ever real
it is real because you are still standing
then why can i no longer feel it beneath my feet
maybe you were never standing at all
maybe you have been falling longer than you can remember
and this quiet weightless drifting
this absence of ground and sky
is all that is left of you

i miss existence

you never existed and you never will.