Is it

Failure.

It's not a familiar word to me

Because I am never failing unless I know

I haven't tried hard enough

Been my best

But that was failure.

Not by me,

By them,

I let myself cry

And it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest

Exploding

Shattering into the sky

I felt like I was dying

Each day it gets easier

But when it catches up to you

I'm so old

I know I'm not really but

It feels like it.

Like I'm a teenager

For real this time

Like I'm normal

And my parents trust me

And I can text?

And I'm normal