It all comes back

When I got home

After those two days

Passed by much too fast

And then they were gone

And I was changed forever

When I got home

I remember

I cried and cried and cried

From longing

And I held my flute and I cried.

Last night

I cried too.

I listened to a song I listened to on the bus there.

I listened to the songs we played.

And I cried

Because it was like coming home

To something I need so badly

And I remember how much I missed it

I remember how I hadn't known I needed it

Until it had happened

I cried because that,

That right there,

Is me.

And I might never get it again.

But it was a good reminder 

Of why I'm doing this

Putting myself through this

So

Many

Hours

It was a good reminder

Of how it all started

And I think I needed it.

I keep losing myself,

With my anchor -

My rock -

Away for a bit and

No one here but my thoughts and

My "friends" and

My best friends in the whole world

I keep losing myself

But I look at him or I think about those days I had

In late-December-early-February

And it all comes back.