It wasn't real? I imagined it?

You say you want someone real,

like every second we spent together was a dream,

or a nightmare,

I don't know how you think of us.

You say you want someone real,

like every night I spent hours talking to you was imagined,

like every morning I woke up and the first thing I did was text you "good morning baby" and asked how you slept was my way of pretending I cared.

Like every time I told you I wanted to hug you because it was one the best feelings I felt was my way of lying that I wanted you.

Like every time I sat next to you in my car being held by you,

kissing you,

was just a show.

like every time I kissed your scars,

and ran my fingers over you,

I was hoping you would realize how ridiculous us was.

Don't make me feel like I am not real,

that us,

wasn't real,

that you loved me wasn't real.

Was every time you whispered you loved me under your breath a lie?

Were you lying that you wanted to hold me,

that I brought you comfort?

Were you imagining I was someone else that you lost sleep to talk to?

Did you really pretend to care how I slept every night?

And was every morning you woke up to my good morning text really make your morning that much worse?

Because if it was a lie? 

baby you had me fooled.

If it was a dream,

why did I have to wake up?

Being a nightmare isn't even an option to me.

If it was all pretend?

you're the best damn actor I have ever seen.

And darling?

If I imagined it?

then you and I would still have sparks,

not ashes.