It's hard

It's hard

It's really hard

When there are so many people to balance all the time

So many personalities

So many conversations

Overlapping

Talking over each other

So many big emotions

Exploding all over the place

The messiest fireworks you've ever seen

And it only gets worse the older we get

The older I get

As I start to come into myself

And disagree

And know what I think is right

And voice my opinions

To them

It's so hard

To keep track of everyone

When someone always ends up feeling left out

And no one notices or cares

So caught up in whirlwind drama of our lives

That we forgot they were supposed to be a part of it

And I know some people

More than others

Are often left out

Or feel left out

Not wanting to get so swept up

And I value that

And I see it

And I know I can't always be there for you

But each time I see it I vow to try

I wonder if I do a good job

Or a bad one (like always)

And even if I am failing

Failing at being "in charge"

I want you to know that

I see you

I love you

I care about you

I want to talk to you

I want to hear what you have to say

And I'm so sorry you feel like

Not a part of this

And I know

I know it feels like too much

We're too old for this

I want to branch off but I can't distance myself

And I'm sorry that you feel bad

For being able to

For being able to take a step back

I just want to say

I'm sorry if I'm bad at this

And I hope one day

When we all realize this jumbled-up group of misfits

That fit together once upon a time

That we've now outgrown

Once we all find ourselves and our

People

Our people

Our crowd

You will still be a part of mine