Key to Governance

“Greetings, loyal subjects...I understand there is some grumbling amongst you regarding the state of your lives.” The king addressed the large crowd that had gathered in front of his royal palace. Up until that point, His Majesty had been having a rather good morning. He’d woken from a light slumber to his first breakfast, upon which being concluded, had had a walk around the Royal Garden and had returned for his second breakfast. As soon as the dessert was taken away, he was carried up the stairs to have his mid-morning nap. And then he woke to this.

“Questions about why I spend all your taxes on wars and very little on your cities,” the king continued, unaware that his peruke was slightly askew. “How I have one standard of justice for street level drug dealers and another for pharmaceutical drug dealers. And how I take cash and gifts from large donors, many of whom then get favorable treatment...rest assured, these are all valid concerns.”

The crowd was visibly surprised. They’d expected the king to deny everything, and they were ready for a fight against the Imperial Army. After all, with the king’s recent history, violence was almost assured. Several of them had even brought pitchforks to be used if necessary. They hadn’t expected the king to be so reasonable.

“But let me draw your attention to my humble food taster. Seven times a day, he puts his life on the line by tasting my meals. Seven times a day, he must risk his life for a person he doesn’t even know. Why? Because he is a servant of the law. I am just like my food taster. I might have a higher rank, a longer title, but I too am a servant of the law.” At this point, the king leaned back into his bedroom as he caught a whiff of tender barbecued wings – first lunch. His stomach growled in annoyance, telling him to wrap this up quickly.

Now the crowd shifted uncomfortably. They shoved their hands in their pockets and quickly moved their eyes. Several of them even brought their pitchforks and blazing brooms to eye level, thereby surrendering all firearms. They’d arrived with such bottled up anger, but now they didn’t want to spew it at the king. He seemed like a nice guy, just an ordinary person like most of them.

“Some of you may ask who, then, is my master. It is not the law. It is the people who make the law. The people who think they’re above the law. The people who claim to help the people, but do nothing. You may have come to me with bad intentions. Several of you may have wished to cause harm to me. Do not waste those feelings; instead, show them to the Members of Parliament!”

That last proclamation made an impact on the crowd. They were reawakened with the spark of hatred. Now their anger wasn’t directed towards the king; now their fury was facing the Members of Proclamation. They gave one last cheer, raised their pitchforks, and surged towards the Parliament.

“Distraction is the key to governance,” the king whispered, walking towards his dining room for his first lunch. After all, mental effort made him hungry.