Lagging

I thought

I'd be fine on my own this year

After being shown the ropes

But...

I didn't realize how much of a lifeline you were

Until I was stranded

Didn't realize I fell further and further down 

Down

Down

To you and I can't get back up by myself

I thought this year would be a breeze

And then I could get out in the world and

Do something

Be someone

Be a real human in a realer world

But it's lagging

It's l a g g i n g and I'm so alone 

So annoyed at people I like

So t i r e d

And they're just trying to please me

And I have impossible standards

Standards you bypassed by a million

Standards met and exceeded at orchestra rehearsal

So why?

Why is everything a disappointment?

And I wish everything would go away and then what?

And then what?

And then I go back to average nobody?

My computer's as glitchy as my life

When everything's going right it feels wrong

Where am I?

I should not be here

I am out of place

And I have to do all this

W i t h o u t  y o u

And everything is

So

Laggy