a letter

just last week I told you

I worried about us

you said, “you don’t have to,

you’ll always be enough”

no one else is like me

to me, they’re all better

better than I could be

so I wrote you a letter

it says:

I don’t want to lose you,

but I think I’m losing myself

I don’t want to make you

wait until I can find myself

I don’t want to miss you,

but I think I’m missing the mark

it isn’t fair to you

that everything inside me is dark

never had a green thumb

all withers at my touch

you say that all sounds dumb

you say I think too much

you’re not like anyone

that I have found before

for you, I’m not the one

I'll help you close my door

I’ll say:

I don’t want to lose you,

but I think I’m losing myself

I don’t want to make you

wait until I can find myself

I don’t want to miss you,

but I think I'm missing the mark

it isn’t fair to you

that everything inside me is dark

it asks:

do you want to save me?

do you want to hate me?

am I hurting you?

cause it’s hurting me

will you take the things you gave me?

will you try to replace me?

am I killing you?

cause it’s killing me

my metal is all rust

wish I could tell you why

there’s nothing I can trust

other than a goodbye

I’m losing myself.