a letter to my mother

how do i say--

yesterday, you called me a miracle 

and i believed you because 

you can make me believe 



(you have not always wielded that well.) 


how do i say--

today, you were angry, and your anger 

is the kind that overflows 

is the kind that burns people 

who come too close 

even when all they want is to help. 


(i will try to make you laugh anyways.) 


how do i say--

tomorrow, i will be afraid of you. 

i will always be afraid of you. 

that is the thing, about love; 

it comes hand in hand 

with fear. 


(i am afraid. i am afraid. sometimes i cannot breathe, i am so afraid of you.) 


how do i say-- 

i love you. you chose me, so i will love you. 

be careful with that, okay?



17 years old

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