A List of Before

If I were to create a list of things that remind me of laughter and childhood,
the list would be too long,
but I wish it would never stop. 

I miss visiting New York in autumn, 
raking up the red and orange leaves into a large pile
and watching my sisters jump inside of it—
laughing and smiling all the while. 

I miss Halloween,
dressing up as someone you’re not,
pretending to be them
for at least one night;
a soccer player,
a nerdy genius, 
an archer. 

I miss trips all over the world,
going to France and visiting ice caves
and a melting glacier,
seeing the burnt carcass of a stunning church,
eating flower ice cream,
hiking to Switzerland on a sunny day 
(although, for me, the day felt cold and rainy). 

I miss skiing, 
how I hated the numb feeling of tired feet,
the thrill of ice flying into your face as you ride down a slope, 
laughing at funny faces
and your reflection in ski goggles. 

I miss going to the three-headed mountain (or so the logo suggests),
adopting a brown stuffed bunny
and lying on a rock
with a view of the forest and beyond. 

I miss the hot summer days,
sitting in a fort made out of pipes and blankets, 
hikes in which most are happy
and one is sulking. 

I miss swimming in public pools, 
crystal clear water
and three ascending heads
on top of each other
from behind a corner. 

I miss cold walks,
I miss bridges over flowing rivers,
I miss eating raw pasta,
I miss hikes in the desert,
I miss school theatre performances,
and I miss 
before.