I watch videos of award ceremonies when I feel empty
And I look at the shiny gold
At the nice suits,
And I convince myself that
That's me in those suits!
All these people are celebrating what I, a husk, did!
My neck feels the strain from all the honor!
Bearing on my body.
Yes, that's what it is.
Honor.
Then I shut my laptop, and the dark comes back,
And I remember that I am a parasite.
When I was a little younger than I am now,
I went home after school and wrote until bedtime.
That was enough to take me into the stratosphere.
I'd play in the cloud for hours and hours.
I will tell you what I remember from high school, and I will tell you how you can follow in my sinful and lowly footsteps, that your blood might be as holy as mine.
I first began in the business of selling people when I sold a strange man in Jerusalem that I did not like for thirty silver pieces. Swaths of people flocked after him down into the precipice of the market.
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