Messy mind

Sitting in a chair,
waiting for that feeling,
waiting for that sigh of relief,
when relaxation hits.
Where is it?
Where is the release
that I have been expecting
all day,
all week,
all year?
Is it even coming?
I've done my homework,
but have I?
Yes,
for the fifteenth time,
I have. 
I've practiced my instrument,
but have I?
Yes,
for the hundredth time,
I have. 
Why can't my mind 
take a break?
Why can't it
give me 
a break?

What time do I get up in the morning?
What time do I leave for school?
What do I have to prepare for?
And when there's nothing,
my mind is confused.
It is so used to being busy,
to being constant,
that it doesn't know how to take a vacation.
But it's okay
to take a vacation.
It's okay to take some time
to put your brain in a calm spot.
And it's possible.
It's possible to be hardworking,
multitasking,
while still controlled,
organized. 
It's possible to be strong
while still vulnerable.
So sometimes,
you'll find it's possible 
to slow your heart rate just a bit,
to take a breath,
to stop thinking,
and still live your life,
even better than
as you were before.