Never 'Enough'

It’s never enough.

I sit on the floor, listening to Frank Sinatra,

Waiting for words to combine themselves,

Typing and deleting sentences because they aren’t ‘enough’.

I feel emotions swirling around my body,

Such emotions that I can’t seem to pinpoint.

My eyes are lined with sorrow.

From what? I might not know.

Maybe it's because I’m losing things I didn’t think I’d lose,

I’m waiting for someone who won’t notice me,

And school is slowly taking everything away from me.

Nothing is enough.

I’m told no one’s ever going to be perfect,

Then why does everything expect just that?

I try to do everything in life,

Cross country, gymnastics, and track,

And it’s still not enough.

I keep my grades at a 4.0,

Staying in higher-level subjects,

Why does it feel like it's not enough?

I don’t want to burn myself out, sure,

But if I’m not always busy,

I lose myself.

I’m not doing enough.

I’m never doing enough.

If I’m not an athlete, then what am I?
If I’m not an author, then what am I? 
If I’m not valedictorian, then what am I?

Human, I know, but a human with nothing.

So I’ll train until my body aches,

I’ll study until I can’t form thoughts,

I’ll try to be smart,

I’ll do what it takes to know what ‘enough’ feels like.