Older (what's the bigger picture?)

Getting

older

feeling age pass by without a second thought

I cry on my birthday

I'm not fifteen yet

I don't want to grow up

I don't want to have to worry about Big Decisions

I don't want to leave

what is the bigger picture

teachers ask for universal understandings well I don't see any

if this world universally understood anything

would we have wars?

Or is perspective the problem?

It's a blessing we don't all have the same one

a curse in disguise

I don't write about current events because I don't know what to say

and honestly it feels out of reach

when I'm just striving to survive track practice of

a sport I'm forcing myself through when 

I really really don't want to

trudge through muddy gravel that makes everything hurt

when I'm recovering why is sickness so short

our lives are tiny

you think the universe cares?

You think your kids will care? Their kids?

Nobody does

nobody will

you make a name for yourself - why?

You're gone within a century

what's the point?

The bigger picture is a masterpiece

if humans went extinct

maybe earth could be saved

but then

the sun would explode

bring the dinos back

they sure had the right idea

maybe that's all we are

smart dinosaurs

what am I talking about again?