Poetry

I am a dying star
Don’t mourn me, I am quite far.

It was supposed to be a beautiful summer day,

sun shining, birds singing,

but instead of swimming in the lake or shooting archery on the range we are stuck inside 

You said

I seemed relaxed.

Not tense,

Like I feel,

Constantly.

Not curled up into a tight little ball

Against the world.

You said 

I seemed loose.

I don't feel loose

My love for you has no title 

My love for you is my own 

My love for you is something unique 

My love for you I wish I could've shown 

The war was over,

or maybe it hadn’t begun.

The sky hummed like a sweet lullaby,

and the fields grew wild with unbothered color.

Children ran barefoot through puddles

Tell me that I’m beautiful without telling me

Tell me that 

I make you smile

Tell me that

I’m smart

Tell me that

I make your day

Golden.

Glistening in the sunlight.

The smooth, metallic surface felt too fine to touch.

Like a perfectly formed apple, round and shiny

As small as a dollar coin.

Though it weighed much more than you’d think

Culmination.

Wrap-up.

Climax.

Soon to be the end.

The end of what felt like forever.

How do I tie up the ends of my life like this?

How do I say goodbye

Guilty pleasures.

I know they are.

I know I shouldn't.

I know all this.

Do I listen?

No.

Have I ever listened?

No.

Checking the doc.

Not active anymore.

Hadn't been

I don't know you anymore.

I learned this

Today.

Gone is the silly boy

As tall as I was

That purple beanie obsession

We all shared -

Tank tops in summer, Crocs all year round,

Not anymore.

Each poem

each message

deleted

one

after

the other.

The words don't flow freely anymore,

now slow and sticky

not flying out my fingers in their regular way.

I can't make it work

Music is great

But being compared to your best friend isn’t

Music is great