prayers to an unknown recipient

sending messages into space:
i’m not used to potion-ing
feelings, but lately
the only signs you
leave are recipes
for love, revenge, hope,
and better skin.
i’m not sure who you are,
but when my name
appears on envelopes
(stamped with ink from
other continents),
there is never a return address.
covered in glitter,
i ask you to
please tell me why
we love so tenaciously.
i forget when i’ve been hurt
because it’s complicated
and you might fix it
without having to know what’s
wrong.
i depend on you to keep me happy,
stabilized,
homeostatic.
keep me from turning inward,
reflecting on my real thoughts
and not the ‘pretty’ thoughts
or the ‘prayer’ thoughts
or the thoughts i think
i should have because
it would make sense
and be easy.
i ask you now,
lying on broken glass
from my wrongdoings,
cleanse whatever mess
i’ve made and send
another packages, filled
with remedies,
filled with ways
to be.