Pretending

I'm good at lying
but I'm not proud of it
I'm not proud of having to hide who I am from everybody 
and for everybody I have to be a different person 
I'm not proud of pretending, 
to my siblings I'm the responsible nagger, who keeps them from killing each other,
to my grandparents I'm the sweet grandchild, who has always been sweet, always will be sweet and only speaks when spoken to,
to my mother I'm a 'troubled teen who struggles to voice themselves.', 
to my father, to my father I'm. . . you know what I give up on that one, 
I honestly have no idea what he thinks of me, he travels a lot.
to my piers I'm mildly annoying, rebellious, and the bringer of free baked goods,
to my teacher I'm quiet, have trouble saying no, could end up in any number of professions, and say sorry too much,
to my best friend. . . I'm one giant problem, with a million secrets.
the thing is I'm all of these
and so much more,
I just haven't quite found that 'much more' yet.
before I can share who I am with others,
I have to share it with myself.