Shower thoughts

Turning the handle

Feels like mornings up too early

Stepping into the steam and heat

Warmth against the cold chilly mornings

Frost on the ground

Feels too early for colored leaves

Because they mean change

They mean another year gone

Another year coming

Alarm going off at 5:30 a.m.

My first instinct is

Jazz band!

My emotions catch up a second too late

Yes jazz band

No you

And suddenly I am so sad

So lonely

So tired

Chasing myself out of the house

Because otherwise I'd never make it to school

My motivation for getting there early

Is gone 

Hot showers way too early

Before the crack of dawn

Mean comfy jazz on rainy days

And snowy times in my favorite room but

My favorite person is somewhere else growing up

Without me growing 

Up and

I am trying to

Failing

This place is not meant for growth or maturity

The nostalgia cuts like a knife

I want last year back